Memoirs of a Tantrika

The Official Blog for Charu, founder of Embody Tantra

Archive for sex

Beyond Clitoral Orgasms…

My Story of Re-Sensitizing my Vagina:

I was one of those women who, once I figured out how to have a clitoral orgasm (not until I was about 14 AND it was my boyfriend who encouraged me to touch myself…I said, ‘no, it will only feel good to me if you touch me’… where did I get that idea?)  Once I did figure out how to pleasure myself and how fucking great it was, I practically made a career out of it.  Thus, it was very easy for me to experience orgasm via my clitoris.

Up until about 4 years ago when my beloved and I got together, I had rarely, if ever, experienced vaginal orgasm, although I had begun to experience ‘full body orgasm’ through my Tantra practice without any stimulation from outside of me at all, simply from practicing the simplest meditations.

So, I was beginning to explore my body in new ways and I was curious and confused about why I was not very sensitive on the inside of my vagina.

When I got together with my love, I told him, ‘let’s try something new, I would like you to steer clear of my clitoris and I will too…I want to see what else I am feeling when you are making love with me’.  This was a great decision and we did it for more than a year.

What opened up inside of me was amazing.  I began to become more and more aware of the sensations in my vagina and within days…literally (now remember, I already had a developed Tantra practice, I was ripe for this) I was experiencing vaginal orgasm in many different ways.  As time went on, I began to experience waves of orgasm almost throughout the duration of our lovemaking, I learned how to relax into the waves until I was able to drop into TOTAL presence.  A feeling as if I was sitting in the bindu (center) point of orgasm, orgasm was expansive and never-ending rather than intense and explosive.  I also began to become so sensitive to him, and him to me, that I could feel and ride the waves of orgasm within his body, I even began to experience orgasm the moment he entered me, a wash of union… and this feeling would run through his body and mine together.

Now, that I have become more sensitive to all of the sensations, I bring in my clitoris when it feels right.  It is far less often than before and in many ways less interesting.  I share this with you because what I have discovered is AMAZING and possible for every woman.  The best part is that I don’t for a moment believe that I have discovered everything.  I continue to expand and I can’t wait to discover even more of what is possible in my own body and with my beloved.

Diana Richardson speaks at length about re-sensitizing in her book, ‘Tantric Orgasm for Women’. This book was a huge part of me learning to trust the natural intuitions that I had, even though many of them were in direct conflict with what I had learned through cosmopolitan magazine and how I had come to define myself sexually.

Are you ready to begin your tantric journey?

For those in the LA area:

http://eveningofawakening.blogspot.com/

For women in distant places:

7 week Home-Study Course available for pre-order:

http://awakentoyourbody.blogspot.com/

Want to use this article? You can as long as you include the following: Charu Morgan has dedicated her life to Tantra. Over the past 10 years she has studied and shared Tantra worldwide. Best-known for her candid Memoirs of a Tantrika blog and her down-to-earth approach, she is committed to educating modern minds on the ancient secrets of Tantra through coaching, events & home-study courses. If you would like to discover how Tantra can Transform your life, register online for the Memoirs of a Tantrika weekly ezine at www.embodytantra.com and receive your free audio report Better Sex, Richer Life through Tantra.

The Secret to Great Sex

It has become clear to me that no matter what the exact issue that brings a client through my door, everyone is grasping for the secret to having a deeply fulfilling experience in lovemaking.

People often want to believe or are searching out a technique that, once learned will finally satisfy their partner and transform their experience.

…and there are some techniques out there that are interesting and worth exploring, but the big secret is that great sex does not come from learning something you can ‘do’ differently.  It comes from how intimate you are with yourself.

Our culture has little tolerance for dedicating any time or energy to fully experiencing our bodies because we have become so result oriented.  God forbid we step away from our computer and the possibility of accomplishing one more thing, in order to nourish ourselves!

If we do take the time to nourish ourselves, it comes in the form of a spa treatment, a nice meal out, a ball-game, a Yoga class, etc.  And all of these things are WONDERFUL!  But how many of them really turn you on?  I mean how much of your life touches you in your sex?  Seriously, take a moment to think about it.  When you are not engaged in having sex what percentage of your life are you experiencing the wholeness of yourself including your sexuality?

…I thought so.  Way too little.

The worst part is that we have almost no experience of the potential of our bodies, no relationship to our own sexuality (other than a few goal-oriented masturbation sessions), and yet, we expect our partner to be able to satisfy us and take us to new heights… and if they can’t, we whisper about it to our friends and long for our partner to change.

The good news is that getting in touch with your body and your sexuality is EASY.  Yes, it is.  Whew!  All it takes is a curiosity, an investment in those possibilities that you feel within you, but often don’t listen to.

Try this:

Take the time for a walk in the park or on the beach, while you are there, take a moment to pause and be silent.  Allow yourself to notice what you feel through each sense in your body.  What do you smell?  How does the air feel when it touches your skin?  What colors and shapes do you see?  Sounds do you hear?  Allow yourself to truly absorb all of the sensations of the moment and through this begin to discover something new inside yourself and your relationship to all things.

“All around you, in every moment, The world is offering a feast for your senses.  Songs are playing, tasty food is on the table, Fragrances are in the air, Colors fill the eyes with light.

You who long for union, Attend this banquet with loving focus.  The outer and the inner worlds open to each other…”

~Vighyan Bhirav Tantra as translated by Lorin Roche Ph.D. http://lorinroche.com/

It is so simple that it is almost deceptive because we are not accustomed to allowing life to be simple.

And it is from this place of truly feeling ourselves in a new way, and coming into intimate contact with the world within and without that the great secret to lovemaking is revealed: attunement.

Yup.  No special technique, no following steps 1,2,3 and boom!  As you become more intimate with yourself you will naturally become more intimate with the world.  As you become more intimate with the world you will begin to notice how to simply allow yourself to come into an attunement with this moment in your body.  As you attune to the moment, you become more sensitive to, and can easily attune to your partner.  It is from this place that true lovemaking happens.

As you become more and more sensitive, you will even begin to ‘hear’ what your partners body is telling you.  A longing for a caress here, an invitation for a deeper more vigorous movement, a call to slow down, and so on.  You become one of those rare people that you have heard of in the myths that friends have told you about that past lover who just magically knew what to do, how to touch and who drove them wild.

You can only become aware of these responses in your partner, you can only come into this level of attunement when you have an intimate relationship with yourself.

In many ways you will practice this attunement in every moment of your life.  Life becomes your greatest lover, even just the breath moving in and out of the body is recognized as the sweet pleasure that it is, and sharing with another human being is a delicious expression of this loving.

Want to use this article? You can as long as you include the following: Charu Morgan has dedicated her life to Tantra. Over the past 10 years she has studied and shared Tantra worldwide.  Best-known for her candid Memoirs of a Tantrika blog and her down-to-earth approach, she is committed to educating modern minds on the ancient secrets of Tantra through coaching, events & home-study courses.  If you would like to discover how Tantra can Transform your life, register online for the Memoirs of a Tantrika weekly ezine at www.embodytantra.com and receive your free audio report Better Sex, Richer Life through Tantra.

Upcoming Events with Charu

Beginner Tantra for Couples

Sunday August 9th 6pm . Culver City
$100 per couple / $75 when you register before July 26th
click here to register:


Evening of Awakening . Puja Ritual

Saturday August 15th 7-11pm
$60 per person / $50 if registered before Aug 1st
click here to learn more & register
http://eveningofawakening.blogspot.com/

Stillness in Lovemaking (and a secret lasting longer in bed)

I have said it before, and I will say it again… the bodies have a language of their own.  Most of us have stopped listening when our bodies talk and because of that we have suffered.  We have suffered because we have isolated ourselves, not only from each other, but most importantly from ourselves.

The other day my man and I were making love and he paused, as he often does, and rested inside of me.  With him resting inside my body I began to receive information from his body into mine.  An entire symphony of information.  It felt like a blooming, it began from his penis and then spread out through my body… reaching to the top of my scull and the tips of my toes, pressing against the inside of my skin to the outer edges of me.

He began to move again and it was as though the information withdrew or pulled back as he pulled back to thrust into me.  It was startling and unsettling.  As he continued to move gently in and out of me I noticed that I was consistently experiencing this unsettled sensation of trying to receive the information, but not being able to ‘pin it down’ or absorb it.  Fascinating.

Now, I there are other times when he is moving and I can fully receive what his body is sharing with me, and other languages where I can feel the building of fullness with the intense movement… moments where the way that he is penetrating me feels almost blinding and that feeling of losing control is profound in its own way…

And yet, this experience, which I have often had, of longing for him to stay still so I could drink in this deep knowledge of my man, inspired me to share with the world how important these moments of pause can be.

Many of us are caught in a habitual loop of feeling that we always have to ‘do’ something in lovemaking.  That there is some great technique that will wow our lover and make them love and approve of us or satisfy them beyond belief.  And sometimes within that we are missing the simple magic.  We are railroading over the very connection that we so long for, the connection that nourishes and enlivens.  The connection where two human beings actually enter into a union and open to one another.  Perhaps open and share in a way that is not possible with words or in daily interactions (as we know them).

So, I would like to invite you all to explore the stillness.  Allow it to teach you about what is possible between two bodies as it re-sensitizes you to the moment.

Men ~ it is important to understand that I have just exposed a valuable secret to lasting longer in bed… when/if you feel you are moving toward ejaculation and you would like to postpone it… don’t leave your woman by thinking of baseball or whatever techniques you have created to repress the energy.  Simply allow your body to relax, be still.  Yes, your erection may shift and change while you are still, you may not be as hard as when you are thrusting… this is okay.

Take this time to look your woman in the eyes, caress her body and allow yourself and her to simply relish in the connection between the two bodies.  When and if it feels right to move again you can, as the bond between you has ripened you may notice a new richness as you move inside of her.  You may even notice that your penis is more sensitive to what her body is truly longing for.  Within lovemaking you can pause as many times as you like and you may even choose to experiment with completing your lovemaking this way, simply allowing the charge you have built from moving the bodies to nourish you rather than ending with a big explosion.

There is no ‘right’ way to make love.  Explosions are wonderful, fucking is wonderful… and now you can begin to explore this concept of stillness and see what the process reveals to you about lovemaking and the possibilities.

Want to use this article? You can as long as you include the following: Charu Morgan has dedicated her life to Tantra. Over the past 10 years she has studied and shared Tantra worldwide.  Best-known for her candid Memoirs of a Tantrika blog and her down-to-earth approach, she is committed to educating modern minds on the ancient secrets of Tantra through events, workshops & home-study courses.  If you would like to discover how Tantra can Transform your life, register online for the Memoirs of a Tantrika weekly ezine at www.embodytantra.com and receive your free audio report Better Sex, Richer Life through Tantra.

How to Unlock Your Potential for Pleasure

FREE Teleclass for Women

When: Friday, July 10th 1pm PST/ 2pm MST/ 4pm EST

How to Unlock Your Potential for Pleasure OVERNIGHT and Re-discover Richness & Passion in Your Relationship to Yourself, Your Loved Ones & Your Life!

As many of you know, I have dedicated my life to the study and practice of Tantra. I have seen the Tantric practices simply, almost magically transform the lives and relationships of many, many people. You will learn the tools that have been practiced for thousands of years to simply and effectively tune into the deep wisdom of the body and effortlessly allow that wisdom to become a guiding force in your life.

On the 75-minute call, you’ll discover:

* The exact tools you can use immediately to clear blocks in your body and awaken a flow of orgasmic energy accessible to you in EVERY moment….in just one Tantra session I have seen these tools; save couples relationships, free women from pain or numbness during intercourse, shift body-image issues, and literally awaken the beauty in every woman I have shared them with.

* How these practices will easily break through deep-rooted habitual patterns – in a way that will integrate shifts and changes into your life immediately – something that many therapists & healers are unaware of

* How to uncover an inner wisdom that has been all but lost in our modern culture. Yes, right now you have untapped information you aren’t even aware of…After this call, you’ll know what reveals this wisdom and how to live with ease, heal your body and have better sex by ‘tuning in’ to it.

* How to move beyond your limited experience of pleasure. Even if you are sexually savvy or you are having great sex, what is possible within your body is rarely understood or experienced in our modern times

* The very best part of unlocking your potential for pleasure has very little to do with the great sex you will be having- that is the gravy – the best part is the fulfillment, the confidence, the aliveness and the love you experience within yourself

In love,
Charu

How to Register

Space is limited for the “How to Unlock Your Potential for Pleasure OVERNIGHT and Re-discover Richness & Passion in Your Relationship to Yourself, Your Loved Ones & Your Life!” teleseminar so register by clicking this link now:

http://potentialforpleasure.blogspot.com/

PS– This call could be a turning point in your life – the moment you release who you think you should be and wake up to the woman that you are.

Everything You Have Ever Heard About Tantra is a Lie.

In the West, Tantra has sadly come to be known purely as a sexual practice. It conjures up images of orgies and casual encounters in the name of something sacred.

Nothing could be farther from the truth. Tantra is a path of meditation above all things. An offering of tools to support you in becoming more aware, conscious and alive. To bring you home to the present moment. What sets Tantra apart from other meditation paths is that it acknowledges the importance of being alive in a body, being a sexual being. Many modern ‘seekers’ find ourselves ‘top-heavy’, focused on opening our heart, third eye and crown chakras in an effort to experience perpetual bliss.

Problem is that this bliss becomes a way to disconnect, a way to escape. It is not grounded in the body and because of that it cannot be integrated. Tantra recognizes that by using the very energy that makes us human, we can ground ourselves in our humanity and experience the divine here on earth. We can begin to integrate and LIVE a life grounded in a spirituality that is deeply rooted in our bodies.

If you feel that you have a deep connection to your spirituality, but in your very human life you are:

  • not experiencing freedom or abundance in your work
  • feeling isolated
  • in a space where you understand mentally what you ‘should’ do or feel in any given situation, but notice that your relationships with family and friends are not as enlightened as you would like them to be
  • are touching deep fulfillment and aliveness during yoga class, while reading Eckart Tolle, or during your favorite meditation/prayer practice… but are not feeling that kind of fulfillment, pleasure or joy in your relationships and sex life

…then it’s time to dive in and experience what Tantra can offer you

All of my upcoming events offer a safe environment for you to have an embodied experience of your divine nature and begin to integrate that experience into your interactions with others. We will use breath, movement, sound & partner meditations throughout each event, the foundation of the work is one of deep respect and reverence. You don’t have to work for years to receive the benefit that comes from Tantra, shifts made from this space are directly integrated into how you live your life. You will find that you feel even closer to the teachings and practices that are important to you.

Through the Tantras (techniques) you will begin to let go of the ‘shoulds’ and wake up to allowing life to evolve. When you are in connection with your body and in harmony with life, when you recognize the divine on a visceral level with those you interact with, you have moved beyond ‘trying to live in alignment with your highest self’ because you have simply remembered and embodied both your divinity and your humanity.

What a relief.

Would you like to use this article?  You may as long as you include the following information along with the article: Charu Morgan has dedicated her life to Tantra. Over the past 10 years she has studied and shared Tantra worldwide.  Best-known for her candid Memoirs of a Tantrika blog (soon to be published as a book) and her down-to-earth approach, she is committed to educating modern minds on the ancient secrets of Tantra through events, workshops & home-study courses.  If you would like to discover how Tantra can Transform your life, register online for the Memoirs of a Tantrika weekly ezine at www.embodytantra.com and receive your free audio report Better Sex, Richer Life through Tantra.

Upcoming Events with Charu

Beginner Tantra for Couples

July 5th 6-8:30pm . Culver City $100 / $75 if registered before July 1st

register here:

http://www.embodytantra.ecrater.com/product.php?pid=4317052

Tantra Puja Ritual

July 19th . Santa Monica $60 per person / $50 if registered before July 11th

register here:

http://www.embodytantra.ecrater.com/product.php?pid=3521066

And if you just can’t get enough of Tantra (like me) here are some events coming up this weekend, with my beloved teachers and friends hosting…

with Dawn Cartwright

Tantra Experience

Friday night 6.26 . 7:30pm . Santa Monica

http://www.dawncartwright.com

with Psalm Isadora

full-day Red & White Tantra Event

Saturday 6.27 . 10am- 6pm

http://www.psalmisadorayoga.com

Ultimate Foreplay…

My beloved returned from an all-night sweat lodge on Sunday, warm and open.  He was so gentle, so melted and so alive that it was nearly impossible to hold back around him, although some part of me seemed determined to try.  I found myself running into a dangerous mindfuck which creates distance between me and man.

…and he just kept glowing and loving.  In his radiance I felt my resistance melting away and I was transported to a magical land… the present.  Here I was gifted with a love that I am never sure if I am deserving of, here I find myself constantly in dynamic new territory beyond knowing how to ‘be’, here it is demanded of me that I show up only in love and here I experience what I know to be the simple pleasure of being alive; but for most it is a pleasure beyond what they dare to dream.

And this proves a point I often find myself called on to share, only one of you has to change.  Yes, only one of you, and I recommend that you begin with you.  In this case, I lucked out, my beloved made a shift within himself and it was so fundamental, so profound that I could not help, but meet him in the moment.

I find the same thing happens when I am the one who has shifted.  Always.

It’s in the realm of like attracts like.  A profound opening inside of you will call that forth in the heart of your beloved, or vice versa.

When my heart opens, my body opens.  I think this is something that is often overlooked or misunderstood by men.  When my man is showing up for himself, when he is growing in his own way and when that power he finds within himself overflows and he showers me with his love, even when we are not in bed… it is so fucking hot.  Few things call to the heart of woman (or at least this woman) than a man in his power loving, loving, and loving her.  Loving her when she wakes, loving her when she sleeps, loving her when she dances, loving her when she cries… I would consider all of this essential foreplay.  Each moment feeling his love massages me and creates a sweet opening to take him inside of me.

Once inside, I can begin to unfold even further as I challenge myself to trust.  It is a challenge because I, like many women, have been raised to believe that I should never surrender to man, never let my guard down.  And yet, in honoring that way of thinking I have denied myself the true union which I long for more than anything else.

The Secret to Your Enlightenment Lies Between Your Legs…

Dear Friends,

In just an hour and a half you can begin to transform your relationship to lovemaking and in so doing change everything in your life.

Lovemaking is how we came into the world…the energy generated by sex is so powerful because it is the energy of creation, the energy of life. Let’s face it; most of us are not integrated in our sexuality. In my opinion, you can be as ‘enlightened’ as you like, but if you look at your relationships and your sexuality and there is stickiness there…chances are, you still have a long way to go in your spiritual development.

That is why Tantra speaks to me. It does not let me get away with anything. When I am in my head trying to figure something out, it reminds me to tune-in between my legs, connect with my body and in doing so touch the heart of the moment.

My body never lies…when I am present I can feel my heart open and my sex immediately unlock, making me feel more permeable not only to my lover, but to everything I come into contact with. When I am not present, even if I appear to be experiencing pleasure, my body locks down…revealing where I may still be holding back.

You can try this as a meditation in your life:

Check in with your body periodically throughout the day and notice if you are holding tension in your body, specifically your genitals and see what happens when you allow yourself to relax…you may find that some discomfort you have been trying to keep at bay suddenly bubbles to the surface.

This is a good thing.

It can bring you into awareness, allow you to release what you have been tightening around, and open the doorway to discovering what life and lovemaking can be like when you let down your walls of protection. This will take you a step closer to an intimate relationship with life and loved ones.

Tonight’s Tantra Life! Class (see details below) will explore this relationship between sexual arousal, tension, relaxation and absolute presence.

For those of you who are not in LA or can’t make it to tonight’s class…don’t worry, this meditation will soon be made available as an MP3 or CD for you to listen to in the comfort of your home and practice with your beloved.

In love,

Charu