Memoirs of a Tantrika

The Official Blog for Charu, founder of Embody Tantra

Archive for relationship

In Tantric Relationship, The Honeymoon Never Ends…

Some of you may know that today I celebrate four years with my incredible man!  It is so amazing to share with a man so dynamically and fully.  Of course, I credit Tantra for giving me the tools and the context for showing up and allowing the relationship to undo me, rather than make me smaller or box me in.

I think there are a few major mistakes that we all make when it comes to relationship:

One thing is that we think relationship is there to make us happy… of course relationships can awaken us to joy and happiness, but anyone who has been in one knows that is not all there is to it.

In Tantra, it is thought that a Tantric relationship is one which specifically provokes old family dynamics and habitual responses. Within a conscious, Tantric relationship we are given the opportunity to meet those ‘trigger points’ head-on, learn how to stay present within them, and open to a new, perhaps unfamiliar way of showing up.

A way that is beyond ‘trading needs’ and that takes us into uncharted territory where I don’t count on my partner to ‘complete me’ as we see in so many movies, I go deeper with my partner by honoring myself, knowing myself and loving beyond my fear of losing.

This requires great courage and when you show up for relationship in this way, it can be the greatest teacher, perhaps the only teacher you will ever need.

I am not the woman I was four years ago.  Throughout this relationship I have become aware of some very limiting patterns that I have been ruled by for most of my life…because of my strong Tantric practice both before and during my relationship, I have broken through many layers that have kept true, authentic love at bay.  I am consistently surprised by what is possible between two people and by the true beauty of man.

When relating is dynamic in this way, and nourished in a foundation of a deep honor and respect for yourself AND your partner, the honeymoon never ends.  Every moment is a delicious surprise, you are consistently challenged and invited into new landscape.  Passion, desire and absolute love live here.

Want to use this article?  You can as long as you include the following: Charu Morgan has dedicated her life to Tantra. Over the past 10 years she has studied and shared Tantra worldwide.  Best-known for her candid Memoirs of a Tantrika blog and her down-to-earth approach, she is committed to educating modern minds on the ancient secrets of Tantra through events, workshops & home-study courses.  If you would like to discover how Tantra can Transform your life, register online for the Memoirs of a Tantrika weekly ezine at www.embodytantra.com and receive your free audio report Better Sex, Richer Life through Tantra.

Ultimate Foreplay…

My beloved returned from an all-night sweat lodge on Sunday, warm and open.  He was so gentle, so melted and so alive that it was nearly impossible to hold back around him, although some part of me seemed determined to try.  I found myself running into a dangerous mindfuck which creates distance between me and man.

…and he just kept glowing and loving.  In his radiance I felt my resistance melting away and I was transported to a magical land… the present.  Here I was gifted with a love that I am never sure if I am deserving of, here I find myself constantly in dynamic new territory beyond knowing how to ‘be’, here it is demanded of me that I show up only in love and here I experience what I know to be the simple pleasure of being alive; but for most it is a pleasure beyond what they dare to dream.

And this proves a point I often find myself called on to share, only one of you has to change.  Yes, only one of you, and I recommend that you begin with you.  In this case, I lucked out, my beloved made a shift within himself and it was so fundamental, so profound that I could not help, but meet him in the moment.

I find the same thing happens when I am the one who has shifted.  Always.

It’s in the realm of like attracts like.  A profound opening inside of you will call that forth in the heart of your beloved, or vice versa.

When my heart opens, my body opens.  I think this is something that is often overlooked or misunderstood by men.  When my man is showing up for himself, when he is growing in his own way and when that power he finds within himself overflows and he showers me with his love, even when we are not in bed… it is so fucking hot.  Few things call to the heart of woman (or at least this woman) than a man in his power loving, loving, and loving her.  Loving her when she wakes, loving her when she sleeps, loving her when she dances, loving her when she cries… I would consider all of this essential foreplay.  Each moment feeling his love massages me and creates a sweet opening to take him inside of me.

Once inside, I can begin to unfold even further as I challenge myself to trust.  It is a challenge because I, like many women, have been raised to believe that I should never surrender to man, never let my guard down.  And yet, in honoring that way of thinking I have denied myself the true union which I long for more than anything else.

The Secret to Your Enlightenment Lies Between Your Legs…

Dear Friends,

In just an hour and a half you can begin to transform your relationship to lovemaking and in so doing change everything in your life.

Lovemaking is how we came into the world…the energy generated by sex is so powerful because it is the energy of creation, the energy of life. Let’s face it; most of us are not integrated in our sexuality. In my opinion, you can be as ‘enlightened’ as you like, but if you look at your relationships and your sexuality and there is stickiness there…chances are, you still have a long way to go in your spiritual development.

That is why Tantra speaks to me. It does not let me get away with anything. When I am in my head trying to figure something out, it reminds me to tune-in between my legs, connect with my body and in doing so touch the heart of the moment.

My body never lies…when I am present I can feel my heart open and my sex immediately unlock, making me feel more permeable not only to my lover, but to everything I come into contact with. When I am not present, even if I appear to be experiencing pleasure, my body locks down…revealing where I may still be holding back.

You can try this as a meditation in your life:

Check in with your body periodically throughout the day and notice if you are holding tension in your body, specifically your genitals and see what happens when you allow yourself to relax…you may find that some discomfort you have been trying to keep at bay suddenly bubbles to the surface.

This is a good thing.

It can bring you into awareness, allow you to release what you have been tightening around, and open the doorway to discovering what life and lovemaking can be like when you let down your walls of protection. This will take you a step closer to an intimate relationship with life and loved ones.

Tonight’s Tantra Life! Class (see details below) will explore this relationship between sexual arousal, tension, relaxation and absolute presence.

For those of you who are not in LA or can’t make it to tonight’s class…don’t worry, this meditation will soon be made available as an MP3 or CD for you to listen to in the comfort of your home and practice with your beloved.

In love,

Charu

This Tantra Stuff Really Works…

As a woman who has been in relationship for almost four years now, I am consistently amazed at how being in Tantric ritual can completely transform me and bring me back to a place where I am available for love.

I am now at a phase in my relationship where I am constantly coming into contact with parts of myself which are afraid of being so close to someone and in that space it is often difficult to feel that flow of love that came so easily in the beginning. At the ritual last night I noticed parts of myself which have been locked down, while I am busy creating my dream life and building my career, suddenly come to the surface again.

I opened my eyes to see my love before me and I could taste him with my eyes, my hands began to feel intuitive inspirations…I could hear his body telling me how he longed to be touched… I could feel him touching me as though his hands moved beyond my skin and inside of me, my resistance to life melting away. I felt as though my body and his body were glowing, I needed nothing.

In the middle of the night we found each other and made love with a reverence and newness.

He reluctantly left my side this morning, saying how he hated leaving me and how he wanted nothing more than to spend the day by my side. I could feel the magnetic pull between us. Yum.

This Tantra stuff really works…

Come check it out tomorrow night at the Tantra Life! class. This will most likely be the last weekly drop-in class that I offer for a while, maybe ever.

Hope to see you there!

in love,

Charu

Tantra Life!

Tuesdays . 7:30-9pm

$30 per person Culver City . email us for address

Tantra is a powerful path of meditation which focuses on bringing awareness and presence to the body Learning to integrate Tantra and live a Tantra Life is a process of surrender. That process is facilitated by the meditations. Practicing them on your own is a part of it, and gathering together to immerse ourselves in the essence of who we are is a sure-fire way to accelerate the process….not to mention how fun and delicious it feels.

This weekly class is my offering to you, a chance to spend at least an hour and a half a week immersed in Tantra. I invite you to leave your mind at the door and allow this to be your vacation from your life as you know it. A place where you can allow yourself to be surprised by the possibilities and experience yourself fully.

Results from a weekly Tantra practice..

Friends,

On Friday I had the pleasure of attending a Tantra class with my beloved friend and teacher Dawn Cartwright.  I felt a tremendous opening in my body (as I always do after a Tantra class) and the most remarkable things shifted in my life…

I went home with a warm feeling in my body and an availability for closeness and love that felt new.  I felt alive even as I slept and when I awoke, something amazing happened…

In the beginning of my relationship, almost every Saturday, my beloved and I would begin the morning melting into one another, cuddling and making love…it would set the stage for a delicious day of enjoying one another.  Recently, the ebb and flow of life and busyness has prompted my beloved to choose to jump out of bed on a Saturday morning (long before I am ready to rouse) and begin his day.

Even when he has had every intention of joining me back in bed when I was ready to wake up, it would still jar me and I would feel upset as I awoke to an empty bed.

This Saturday, after a delicious cuddly and connecting sleep, I woke up to him loving me…the urgency to jump out of bed to ‘get stuff done’ seemed to have disappeared for him.

Here is the thing, my beloved did not change… I changed.

I brought a part of myself home with me that had recently been buried by my own fears, insecurities, and behaviors.  I had been getting into bed with only a part of myself and a strict list of expectations for how he ‘should’ behave in the mornings.  But on this Friday, I brought home a sweet, soft, gentle, loving woman…ready to receive my man’s love.

And without me saying a word, he got it.  He felt some part of me inviting him to be close to me that he could not ignore…it shifted everything about the way we related that morning and we did not even need to verbally communicate about it.

In fact, in the past when I would try to talk to him about how I felt when he would jump out of bed, it would usually be coming from a place of anger and blame from my side and it was never well received…which created more distance when what I thought I was longing for was closeness.

It was the simple opportunity to take 2 hours and immerse myself in meditation, immerse myself in the wisdom of Tantra, to discover what was true in my body, beyond words, beyond stories, beyond decisions about who I am or want to be…which created a place where our love could unfold.

This is what is so exceptional about a weekly Tantra practice.  This and so much more…

I hope you will join me as we begin another ‘Tantra Life’ series tomorrow night.

in love,
Charu

Tantra Life!
VENUE CHANGE . please email us for new address if you plan on attending!
FIRST Tuesday Class TOMORROW! March 17th
7:30-9pm / $30 per person

Tantra is a powerful path of meditation which focuses on bringing awareness and presence to the body

Learning to integrate Tantra and live a Tantra Life is a process of surrender. That process is facilitated by the meditations. Practicing them on your own is a part of it, and gathering together to immerse ourselves in the essence of who we are is a sure-fire way to accelerate the process….not to mention how fun and delicious it feels.

This weekly class is my offering to you, a chance to spend at least an hour and a half each week immersed in Tantra. I invite you to leave your mind at the door and allow this to be your vacation from your life as you know it. A place where you can allow yourself to be surprised by the possibilities and experience yourself fully as we explore one of the 112 Tantric meditations.

*all classes are fully clothed with no sexual contact


Self-Hate

In my return to lovemaking, I have had some unique breakthroughs.

The other night my love and I were making love and I felt almost totally numb. I could feel him moving in and out of me, but there was no pleasure, no opening, no softening on my part to really let him in. I struggled with it for a moment trying to ‘let go’…and eventually asked my love to give me some space.

When he slid out of me I began to cry, throw a tantrum really. He handed me a pillow and encouraged me to rage into it with whatever was coming up for me. I began once again to yell, ‘I hate you’, ‘I hate you’, ‘I hate you’…

I wanted to say something else, but those were the only words that came. Over and over again, ‘I hate you’, ‘I hate you’.

Now, the last time this happened, I was convinced that I was having some kind of flashback to abuse from my past, some kind of violation. I tried to feel who I was yelling at so I could gain some clarity.

This time I just focused on the feeling, and allowed the words to come.

After about 15 minutes it became crystal clear to me that the one who all of this anger and hate was directed towards was me. It was me that I hated, me who was violating me and who continues to violate me, me, me, me, me, me.

What a feeling.

The moment I saw it something unlocked inside of me. I told my beloved that it was me all along…he smiled and replied, ‘I know’.

Shit! How did he get the message before me? I hate that!

Shame. Sadness. More Hate.

Then release. A sweet softness over my entire body.

We rested. Then cuddled and caressed one another, and when I was ready, we made love.

It was lovely. I was present. I remembered how delicious this union can be.

…and the journey continues.