Memoirs of a Tantrika

The Official Blog for Charu, founder of Embody Tantra

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She’s Come Undone…

A  few nights ago I experienced a very special evening with four other Tantric women.  There was dynamic conversation, shared history and transformational moments and then a sharing of a beautiful Tantric dance.  The dance and being in their presence totally changed me internally.  My body was on fire for several hours (I even ran through the sprinklers when I got home) and I felt an opening for my man in a new way.  I feel like it has been weeks since I have allowed myself to just be in my own loving, to allow that love to flow through me.

I periodically go through phases of being afraid that life is passing me by and feeling like I have to make some big change in order to live the life of my dreams.  I still have some of that ‘gotta MAKE it happen’ American spirit in me, even though I know that the most delicious gifts in my life have come to me through meeting the moment, and allowing.

The first time I remember feeling this way was when I was in high school, I felt totally trapped by my American suburban life and I had never been happy in school.  One day a girl, who I did not know, in my high school died.  I remember we had a moment of silence for her during chemistry class… during that moment I knew that I had to change my life, if I died tomorrow I would not be happy with how I had spent today.

That began my great journey of going from an honor student to dropping out of high school (with the support and blessing of my teachers).  I moved to New York to pursue my dream of studying and working as an actor.  More importantly, I finally experienced the freedom I was longing for my entire life.

I also had this feeling several times many years later when I was in Drama school in London.  The program was 12 hours a day and it was extremely emotionally draining.  The heart of the teaching was in many ways parallel to Tantra, about stripping away the layers that came between you and the essence of every human being.  However, the format was totally different.  Rather than a loving foundation and support system, the path that was taken felt manipulative… students ultimately went one of two ways, a few of us dove into our spiritual practice and most of the others became alcoholics and drug addicts.

In the intense fire of this program I remember several moments of sitting in the local cafe with my best friend and creating a plan of escape.  This was a dark and dingy life, we felt trapped in the program, trapped in rainy London… life was waiting, why didn’t we leave on a train right away and head to Spain to dance in the sun?  Why had we created this ‘stuckness’?

… in this moment in my life, even with the intense passion I had for breaking free, I decided to stay.  And it was the best choice ever.  The breakdowns and intensity made way for huge breakthroughs.  I spent my final year feeling absolutely loved and deeply seen by the very teachers I had once felt shamed by.  I realized with total certainty, that the intensity of the environment they provided for me was actually a gift of love.  They had loved me enough to allow me to hate them.  Through my hate, my loss of identity, my being stripped bare, I did touch something at the core of myself and it was beautiful.

There was an arc to the process that I was in and had I left when I was uncomfortable I might have missed the richness of the full experience.

And now, this moment in my life has been like none other that I can remember exactly.  I feel as though I am experiencing the repercussions of my saturn return.  28-30 were huge years of transition for me, but somehow the transitions did not feel extreme.  It is only now that I am living with all of the changes that have happened that I am feeling the intensity.

I feel like I have shared it many times already, but through this recent growth I have hit a real crisis point.  My business is finally growing to a point where I am actually bringing in more money than I ever have before.  I no longer have to be the ‘poor spiritual/artist type’.  I no longer get to have the luxury of complaining how hard it is to be passionate about something that people don’t understand the value of, and how this work has to be only a labor of love because it isn’t making any money.

I can see the place where I am becoming the woman I only knew in distant fantasies.  The one who is supporting herself and thriving being authentic and doing what she loves.

Only thing is, the way that I am creating it (perhaps there are other ways that I am not aware of) comes with so much responsibility.  It was uncomfortable not to have enough money, but there was something romantic about it.  I remember when I was traveling I thought about people who had recurring bills and I thought, ‘how stupid to do that, you become totally trapped by the system when you could simply be living in Thailand, with a beautiful hut on the beach, being who you are, doing what you love… why get involved in that system?’

And here I am, my monthly expenses piling up every month, each thing I add creates another opportunity to grow my business, creates more money, supports me in a new way, but I have been scared. Is this really who I want to be?

It is bringing up all of my issues around freedom. I once again begin to feel trapped.  I want to leave America, leave this crazy structure that I have created and I feel I am becoming a slave to… the feeling of being trapped and of panic even spreads into my relationship.  Everything that used to inspire me about partnership began to feel like an infringement on my life.  Rather than allowing myself to be supported by my relationship, I created exhausting conflict to prove to myself just how much better off I would be if I could be alone in a hut in Bali.

I found myself terrified that life would just go on and on like this and I would wake up one day never having what I most longed for, freedom and community.  I have been propelled by feeling like I need to ‘do’ something about this.

… and yet, somehow, some part of me knows that this is not real.  That I am growing into a new woman and I do have to let go of my old identity to step into her.  I didn’t mind doing that when the new identity seemed exciting and I got to play ‘entrepreneur Charu’… there is just so much more to it.

I feel like I am finally becoming an adult and I am afraid that I will fall into the same things that many of the adults in my life fell into, a reality that is relentless, with so much difficulty, and becoming resigned to so much less than you desired and dreamed of.

Some part of me has been afraid that if I allow myself to feel love and beauty in this space, that I will become comfortable just like they did, or everyone does and I will miss out on ‘the rest’… that magical fantasy world where I experience my most embodied self every moment of every day.

Where we all wake up together in the morning to my beloved friend Tony Kalife singing kirtan and Dawn Cartwright guiding us through a delicious meditation.  Where my sisters and friends support me when I can’t handle everything.  Where I can love and support them in ways that come naturally to me.  Where I can hear an intense conversation going on in the living area, someone having a snack in the kitchen, giggling in the backyard even as I sit at my computer.  Where I don’t feel so isolated, alone and like everything is on my shoulders.

… will the work that I am doing now ever lead me to that life?  Am I really pedaling in the opposite direction?  Or is this just a fantasy that keeps me from touching the reality?  Has this vision simply been my respite from my loneliness?

Am I supposed to be ‘doing’ something different to ‘make’ this vision happen?

Should I leave everything, head to Bali, get a hut big enough for several people, put out a shingle and see who joins me?  Would that be the brave thing to do?  Or would that be running away?

Or is the most difficult question to ask, even if I was free from my work, my relationship, my financial obligations… would I do that?

Although the questions are still very alive inside of me, last night gave me a taste of reality.  Through the fire in my body I gave myself permission to delight in what is happening and unhinge from my fantasy of what I would like to happen.  I felt a relaxation within myself, a felt a sweetness in my home, I felt my beloved and I met my life.

I woke up feeling overwhelmed, but happy.  I have a feeling in my belly of being undone.  I still don’t know what is ‘right’… I am still afraid of getting it ‘wrong’ and dying a fool.  Just another girl who got trapped by the system and didn’t live an extraordinary life.

But I am going to be brave and meet what is.  Feel my longing rather than try to satisfy it so it no longer haunts me.  Embrace my loneliness as one of my many guides on this journey… and see what unfolds.

in love,

Charu

P.S. are you longing to come undone?  Learn how Tantra can awaken and unwind you http://potentialforpleasure.blogspot.com

*Couples* How Are You Spending Your Time? A Simple Exercise…

Most of us put our sex life as the last thing on our “to do” list. Once we have worked all day, finished our tasks, spent time with the kids, watched our favorite shows, are full after dinner, and are totally exhausted – then its time for sex. What if you went to work like this? You wouldn’t be employed for long. How do we expect our relationships to grow and flourish and for that to be reflected in our sex life when we begin at such a disadvantage?

We cannot even BEGIN to embark on our tantric journey until we have looked at our priorities and have made a conscious choice to make time for each other.

Here is a simple exercise to help us get out of this cycle and begin this exploration:

(You will need a pen & paper)

Take a moment with your beloved, sit down and each of you make a list of how you spend your week. Account for each hour, include sleeping, eating, lovemaking, watching TV, talking on the phone, working, driving….anything that you do most every day and how many hours you spend doing it. Be as honest and precise as possible.

When you have finished share your list with your partner. Go over your lists together…does anything surprise you about how you have been spending your time?

How much time are you dedicating to each other? To your lovemaking?

… I thought so.  Chances are, the answer is ‘way too little’.

This is a great first step, now that you have some clarity, you can begin to make conscious choices.

How much time would you like to be investing in your relationship?  And this time is separate from time you spend with friends or family… how much intimate alone time can you commit to?

I recommend making a commitment to spend at least 3 hours each month together NOT at a movie, NOT out to dinner… spending intimate time loving one another.   (Seriously, this is a minimum, you would be AMAZED at how many couples are not even investing this small amount of time).  Over the next few months I will continue to share with you tools / exercises / games which will support you on these ‘intimate dates’ each month.

AND I offer my monthly event, The Easiest & BEST Date-Night EVER! for those who want to make the process effortless in your life that is already overwhelming.  No creativity necessary.  All you have to do is show up and you will experience the most bonding, joyful, delicious evening EVER!  The class itself is 2 hours so you still have 1 hour of your ‘intimate date’ to go home and fully relish all of the sweetness of the evening by integrating it into your lovemaking.  Yum!

The next event is THIS SUNDAY 9.6.09! Sign up NOW because the Early Bird ends TONIGHT!  click here to register.  See below for more information.

…here is what some other couples have shared:

“Finding tantra was like finding a long lost friend, it felt very natural and normal for my boyfriend and I to be with one another in a more sensitive, present, meditative, energetic, and exploratory way but no one had given us permission before. It was in us! But we needed someone to show us the way.

We had a huge break through after just one meeting. Not just huge – gigantic!

Our relationship changed forever after just one session. The work touched us so deeply, so quickly, so powerfully, we could not believe it.”

~Brooke

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The Easiest & BEST Date-Night Ever!
Learn How Tantric Meditation Can Enhance Your Love-Life…

Sept 6th . 6-8pm . The Hub, Santa Monica

$100 per couple . $75 if you register by MIDNIGHT TONIGHT

click here to register

*every class is DIFFERENT!  come EVERY month!*

Honor your partnership by spending a special evening connecting and sharing your deep gratitude and love for one another.   Not only will The Easiest & BEST Date Night be more adventurous than your typical dinner and a movie…it also has the power to change the dynamic of your relationship, giving you all of the tools you need to begin to approach lovemaking and all aspects of your relating in a new and ‘tantric’ way.

In a long-term relationship it can be difficult to make sure that you are consistently nourishing your love, connection and sex-life…this special evening offers a different Tantric meditation experience each month so you can effortlessly add a new dimension to your relating on a monthly basis.

By attending, you are taking an important step towards transforming your sex life, and perhaps even more importantly, you are taking a step towards an intimacy that few couples allow themselves to experience. This intimacy shifts the texture of everything you do in life and allows you to experience what you have truly been longing for in partnership.

This class is literally a step-by-step guide to support you in learning how to:

  • free blocks in your own body that are hindering your capacity for pleasure
  • deeply and intimately connect with your partner in totally ‘out of the box’ (no pun intended) ways
  • learn a simple ritual that will connect you and your partner on a completely new level….one that can immediately be put into practice when you make love

*there is NO nudity or sexual contact in the class*

Looking forward to seeing you there!

The BEST Date- Night / Intro to Tantra for Couples
September 6th 6-8pm . Santa Monica
$100 per couple / $75 if registered before Sept 1st
to register: http://www.embodytantra.ecrater.com/product.php?pid=4317052

*I am working on recording these so the audio will be accessible to people who are not in the LA area!

Tantric Sex 101

One of the first things that drew me to Tantra was the prospect that I would become better in bed…that I might tap into some ancient secrets that would wow anyone that made it to my boudoir.

Thing is, it did, and I have, but not at all in the way that I imagined it would.

Far from a ‘fly-by-night guide to hot sex positions’ and ‘ways to drive your lover wild’, the Tantras are actually sacred texts.

It is important to understand some basic spiritual principles when embarking on a Tantric exploration:

  1. As my mother would put it, “the past is history, the future is a mystery, today is a gift, and that’s why they call it the PRESENT.” Many spiritual paths hold to the idea that the key to getting the most out of life is by understanding what it means to really be here now.
  1. The thing most seekers are looking for can be referred to as bliss,  a sensation in body, mind, and spirit that goes beyond feeling.  It can best be related to the way one feels when they first hold their child in their arms, the simple sweetness of smelling a flower and feeling it all through you.  Most of us have had glimpses of it when we are lying in the embrace of our beloved, as we simply forget everything else in the world and are overcome with love.  (Not to worry if this feeling does not sound familiar, bliss is ALWAYS around, we just don’t always have the sensitivity to recognize it.)
  1. THE TRUTH SHALL SET YOU FREE… beyond any theory, the thing that will take you deeper, faster is being honest, first with yourself, and then with all of those you relate to.

So, what does Tantra have to do with all of this?

Tantra is unique as far as paths go, because it embraces all of life, including sexuality as a vital aspect on the road to bliss.

The Tantras are scriptures of sorts that contain a series of meditations for experiencing the divine right here on earth!   These meditations contain anything and everything that may help you drop the past and the future and GET PRESENT, the present moment being the only true doorway to bliss.  So, it’s no surprise that at least a couple of the exercises that these texts offer explore lovemaking as a means to open this door.

Core Elements

1. Slowing down

2. Moving from excitement and tension to relaxation

3. Becoming orgasmic rather than having orgasms

4. Making love without an agenda

5. Tuning in to the innate relationship between masculine and feminine energies/poles of energy

Why would I want to experience ‘Tantric’ Sex?

Most of us are barely scratching the surface of what is possible sexually.  Even the tools that are offered to us to enhance our sex lives tend to be based in how we can get

ourselves excited.  And who doesn’t like to be excited?  What tantra asks is, what happens when we drop the goal oriented path towards orgasm?  When we drop any pre-conceived ideas of what sex or sexy is?

What we have come to describe as orgasm, is referred to in Tantra as a peak orgasmic experience.  This is defined as a build up of excitement and tension in the body leading to an explosion of energy for a few moments, and quite often a feeling of descending or losing energy after.  A term that is sometimes used in Tantra, is valley orgasm.  This, put very simply, is when we relax into our excitement and, rather than move towards an orgasm, we simply surrender ourselves to the pleasure and allow it to take us deeper and deeper into the present moment with our lover…this is truly bliss.

It comes down to a very simple fact…

Scientifically speaking, we as man and woman are drawn together to procreate, so it is fair to say that this sex-act holds a lot of energy.  This energy is available for us to open up to, whether we are creating life, or simply enjoying it by coming together in lovemaking.  Each gender represents a ‘pole’; the man’s penis representing the  positive pole, the woman’s vagina representing the negative.  Like any magnet, we are drawn together.  It is by tuning in to this energetic pull and trusting that our bodies have an intelligence of their own that we unlock the true mysteries of the union of man and woman.

So, how does Tantra work?

It is helpful to look at Tantra in three parts:

  1. Connecting to the self– knowing your own body, meeting yourself, relaxing and awakening to greater sensitivity
  1. Connecting to my partner– meeting them with greater sensitivity and awareness, slowing down, letting go of pre-conceived ideas of what this meeting will be like
  1. Connecting through my partner to the divine –allowing myself to experience the ‘magic’

    How do I start?

    Check out the Tantra sessions section of my website for some practical exercises.

    Important to know

    No two Tantra exercises are alike.  Tantra works with breath, movement, sound, and guided meditation-anything that will get you to re-connect with the true responses in the body.

    Other ‘meditations’ might include shaking the body, partner yoga positions, making sounds on different parts of your lover’s body, or blindfolding your partner and offering them things to delight their senses. Finally, Tantra offers some actual lovemaking techniques.

    Summing up

    Being on the Tantric path to bliss can be as simple as noticing how you are feeling in your own body as you interact with your lover, sharing the TRUTH of what you are going through in any given moment, adding eye contact to your lovemaking.  All of these, and any Tantric exercise, are simply ways of helping you to let go of the distractions and truly be PRESENT to yourself and your partner.

    As you embark on this exploration, remember just because these exercises might seem intense, they don’t have to be serious!  Tantra is very good-humored and light-hearted.  Have fun!

    Want to use this article? You can as long as you include the following: Charu Morgan has dedicated her life to Tantra. Over the past 10 years she has studied and shared Tantra worldwide. Best-known for her candid Memoirs of a Tantrika blog and her down-to-earth approach, she is committed to educating modern minds on the ancient secrets of Tantra through coaching, events & home-study courses. If you would like to discover how Tantra can Transform your life, register online for the Memoirs of a Tantrika weekly ezine at www.embodytantra.com and receive your free audio report Better Sex, Richer Life through Tantra.

    Entrepreneurial Life & Tantra…

    Wow.  Over the last several months my business has been growing at an accelerated speed and through this I have learned so much about the relationship between being busy and being a woman.

    Basically, I noticed that with large doses of tasks, responsibilities, deadlines and hours staring at the computer screen… it is really difficult for me to feel like a natural, vibrant, alive, sensual woman.  It is difficult for me to remember to take time to nourish and care for myself and even more difficult for me to consider my relationship.  After all, cuddling wasn’t on my ‘to do’ list and it is definitely not getting me any closer to my ‘daily goals’.  YIKES!

    I also noticed that while in many ways I have become more confident as I come into my own, I have developed a bit of an ‘uppity’ edge when chatting with my sweetheart lately.  And not only that, but I have been seriously dumping piles of ‘I have been working all day and I need to download everything to you because I can’t hold it all inside of me’ onto him…. oh dear.

    Somehow in the middle of adjusting to this new me who has been carrying around my business like a tail everywhere I go, I managed to notice that for months my beloved has been complaining of back pain and I have done absolutely nothing to support him.

    I, who have studied therapeutic Yoga, reiki healing and generally is simply an expert with loving touch, have not stepped forward to show up and support my man in a simple way that could truly help his quality of life.  What have I been thinking?

    So, I made a choice.  An effortless one really because it is so rewarding and easy.  I have chosen to wake with my love and give him a therapeutic yoga massage every morning before he goes to work for at least the next 21 days.

    This covers so many bases, more than anything it gives me an opportunity to spend some time loving him that is not about unloading, talking, sharing, or even sex-ing.

    … I hope you are paying attention, because that was important.  How much time are you devoting to loving?  Yourself, your love, your family?  What else is there that could possibly be more important?

    It has only been two days and already magical things have opened up between us.  On day one we made eye contact while I stretched his leg and I suddenly saw my love, I saw the love that is inside of me reflected in his eyes, I saw the love that we share with one another, I forgot about my ‘to do’ list.

    I invite you to join me in a 21 day commitment to love.  What does that look like for you?  What is something simple that you can do to more fully experience the love in yourself and in your relationships?

    in love,

    Charu

    P.S. Want some help integrating Tantra into your life as part of your 21 day commitment to love?  Come and check out our BIG EVENT Evening of Awakening this Saturday 7-11pm in Santa Monica, CA http://eveningofawakening.blogspot.com

    P.P.S. Not local to LA, but you want to get started from home?  Check out my new home-study course for women http://awakentoyourbody.blogspot.com (men, yours is coming soon!)

    Want to use this article? You can as long as you include the following: Charu Morgan has dedicated her life to Tantra. Over the past 10 years she has studied and shared Tantra worldwide. Best-known for her candid Memoirs of a Tantrika blog and her down-to-earth approach, she is committed to educating modern minds on the ancient secrets of Tantra through coaching, events & home-study courses. If you would like to discover how Tantra can Transform your life, register online for the Memoirs of a Tantrika weekly ezine at www.embodytantra.com and receive your free audio report Better Sex, Richer Life through Tantra.

    The Truth Train

    A Mythical True Story from February 2007…

    I feel like much of my life I had been waiting at the platform, waiting, waiting for the train to arrive. People would see me standing there and they would laugh at me, or comment amongst themselves how glad they were that it was not they who stood and waited. Some with kindness in their hearts even tapped me on the shoulder and told me stories of how there was no train and I should drop it and come inside where it is warm, they brought me sandwiches and an umbrella when it rained… shaking their heads as they watched the foolish girl at this lonely abandoned station.  They did whatever they could to ‘talk some sense into that girl’….but still I waited.

    I had a feeling that the train was there all along, but somehow I had lost my eyes to see it…and so I waited.

    One day the train arrived! Whoopie! It rolled to a stop and the conductor looked at me; warm, loving, open…even so he was stern with me, ‘do you know what it means to get on this train young lady?’
    ‘yes! I’ve been waiting my whole life, and now you’ve come! I am ready! I will do ANYTHING! I am so grateful that you have come for me!’

    ‘Do you understand that there is no more pretending?’

    ‘Yes, yes, I’ve been longing for this’

    ‘Do you understand that once you get on you cannot get off?’

    ‘There is nothing you can say that could deter me from this ride’, said I.

    and at that he helped me on board with a smile and a wink.

    Happily I travelled on the truth train, managing to stay on board as it bucked and swayed and made me aware of the edges I had come to trust.

    Until one day, quite recently, I met a man and I felt like a woman. And I tasted such sweetness, and I felt happy.

    I tapped the conductor on the shoulder, “excuse me sir, I think this is my stop.”

    “young lady, did I not tell you when we first pulled up to your station that there are no stops on this ride?”

    “yes, but…”

    He looked at me all at once stern and endlessly loving and I remembered.  I remembered what I had agreed to when I boarded the train, I knew that there was no stopping and no turning back.  I also knew that theirein lies the bliss…I had boarded this train in search of a sensation beyond my preference of happy or sad, I had boarded this train for truth and I shall stop at nothing less.

    I know that it is that very longing for truth that led me to this relating with man, and I know that this loving is far more profound than my fondness for happiness, this loving has the potential to show me all sides of myself, this loving has the potential to point me toward the deepest truth, the reason I boarded the train, the memory that I AM LOVE.

    And as I stumble along bumping into so many aspects of myself that I would rather not see in my attempts to be the perfect partner, lover, and beloved…some part of me sits in the knowing that the love that I am is far greater than the drama that I play with.

    The conductor watches me as I struggle, I feel him loving me and yet he does not come to save me from myself…he just holds me on this train and reminds me who I am.

    And so bring it on!  I say….I am ready for more than the shallow happiness that I have settled for, holding on to my visions of perfection at the expense of what is happening here and now.  I am staying on this train, I am taking it all the way home.  I know there is more to this life, to the love between man and woman and I refuse to stay safe.  I vow to die to my illusions and emerge in this love.

    Tantric Meditation in Palestine…

    Hello Beloved Friends,

    One of my friends and students is currently living in the West Bank in Palestine.  I wanted to share with you this beautiful essay about her experience of freedom amidst turmoil.

    The teleclass that she is referring to in the article is my FREE Teleclass;

    How to Unlock Your Potential for Pleasure Overnight and Rediscover Richness & Passion in your Relationship to Yourself, Your Loved Ones & Your Life.

    I will be teaching this class again sometime very soon so stay tuned if you are interested in learning more.

    Even I continue to be inspired and amazed by how Tantra can touch our lives in so many ways, on so many levels.

    Enjoy!

    in love,

    Charu

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    Revelations while Shaking Free:

    I came home from work feeling frustrated and heavy.  This happens often for me as I have a difficult time sitting at a desk for 9 hours or so a day with very little physical movement and staring at a computer.  I find this to be a very violent state to have to live in day in and day out.  Furthermore, I am a bit of an emotional sponge so all the misdirected traumas and heaviness and abandoned emotions floating around in the ethers seem to flock toward me in search of some sort of refuge.  On top of all of this I am not yet living the life I have envisioned for myself (although I am definitely on that path).

    In the past when I would feel this state, which is often, I wouldn’t really know what to do with it and would typically numb it with some sort of substance or distraction, food, alcohol, weed, men, etc.    On this particular evening I decided to sit with it for a bit and see what came up. I went into my room and turned on some relaxing music, lit a candle and sat down. That’s when I remembered the Tantric shaking exercise that Charu reminded me (and other women) of in the recent teleseminar I listened in on.


    I recalled the instructions as this, set a timer for a specific amount of time, plant your feet in the earth, rest your jaw and your neck and shake as you need until the timer rings. Afterwords, be sure to take time to integrate the meditation and the movement that has just happened in your body for an equal amount of time.


    So I did just that! Now I’ve never done this exercise alone before so I was mindful to be sure to hold space for myself and be present and mindful with whatever came up! As I began to shake I would vacillate between being too much in my head and going with the sensations taking place inside my body.


    The more I felt into those sensations and allowed them to shake my body the less in my head I was. And it was an incredibly powerful experience! And on it went my body shaking and deep grunts and howls coming from inside my womb.


    Because I am currently living and working in the West Bank, Palestine I have been intimately up close with many of the horrors that human beings can inflict upon each other. Being Palestinian myself it has been such a personal experience and deeply painful one that often makes me want to jump right out of my skin.

    Needless to say it has been a difficult experience to digest and process.


    While doing this exercise many revelations came to me. I found myself growling and grring like an animal and twisting my face fiercely. And all I could think when I was doing this was that I was somehow affirming life by facing some of the horrors of life. And like a mother protecting her children I was showing this anti-life energy that I was a force to be reckoned with and that energy could not play itself out in my body.


    I was also noticing that the deep guttural sounds coming from me were originating from my womb. Suddenly my womb felt very heavy and full of pain yet this made sense to me since the womb is literally a sort of cave that is receptive to things. And the deeper I went into my womb and released these sounds the more turned on and alive I felt. I think I actually got wet from this and was acutely aware of the pain I have been storing there and how closely it seemed to resemble pleasure as I allowed myself to touch and feel it. I felt like I was on the verge of having an orgasm.


    I also realized that in many ways I have been using sex as a way to access this pain. It is like in some way the act of a man being inside of me is how I can be inside the heart of this pain vicariously through this person. And in the past this was the only way I could “safely” access this pain because I’ve been taught growing up that as a woman I need a man to feel safe in the world.


    Then the timer rang and it was time to relax into these integrations. I took my time going to lie down on the ground and paced around a bit before I laid on my stomach to do a kundalini yoga meditation technique that clears your arc line. Your arc line is a column running down the center of your body. For a woman she retains subtle imprints of every single man she has been intimate with in her arc line. The reasoning for this on a subtle energetic level is if a man were to die after impregnating a woman then the child would know who his father is.


    During the meditation I was able to completely relax in a way that is typically very difficult for me. After the timer rang I again took my time before getting up acting as if I had all the time in the world. I felt in such a state of buoyancy and bliss and truly felt like a completely new and different person than I was just 30 minutes ago.


    It was profound and penetrating especially being in this part of the world where shame is rampant and sex is taboo.  It is amazing to me that tantra can continue to work and unfold its lessons within me even when I feel so far away from not just regular workshops but any sort of acceptance of this sort of healing.  I came out of this exercise feeling powerful and willing to continue to do this sort of work.

    ~D.

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    P.S. Want to learn more about how you can explore Tantric Meditation?  Go to www.embodytantra.com and join our mailing list to receive juicy weekly articles on Tantra, listings of upcoming events and a FREE Audio Class, ‘Better Sex, Richer Life through Tantra’.

    The Easiest & BEST Date-Night EVER! Sunday, Aug 9th

    Honor your partnership by spending a special evening connecting and sharing your deep gratitude and love for one another.   Not only will ‘Beginner Tantra for Couples’ class be more adventurous than your typical dinner and a movie…it also has the power to change the dynamic of your relationship, giving you all of the tools you need to begin to approach lovemaking and all aspects of your relating in a new and ‘tantric’ way.

    In a long-term relationship it can be difficult to make sure that you are consistently nourishing your love, connection and sex-life…Beginner Tantra for Couples offers a different Tantric meditation experience each month so you can effortlessly add a new dimension to your relating on a monthly basis.

    By attending ‘Beginner Tantra for Couples/ Redefining Orgasm’ you are taking an important step towards transforming your sex life, and perhaps even more importantly, you are taking a step towards an intimacy that few couples allow themselves to experience. This intimacy shifts the texture of everything you do in life and allows you to experience what you have truly been longing for in partnership.

    This class is literally a step-by-step guide to support you in learning how to:

    • free blocks in your own body that are hindering your capacity for pleasure
    • deeply and intimately connect with your partner in totally ‘out of the box’ (no pun intended) ways
    • learn a simple ritual that will connect you and your partner on a completely new level….one that can immediately be put into practice when you make love

    Looking forward to seeing you there!

    Beginner Tantra for Couples

    Aug 9th 6-8pm

    $100 per couple/ Early Bird $75 extended through Midnight TONIGHT!
    click here to register

    http://embodytantra.ecrater.com/product.php?pid=4317052

    …AND GREAT NEWS… I am working on recording these sessions and making them available through an online membership.  This means that if you are not in the Los Angeles area, if the classes don’t fit with your schedule, or if you simply would rather practice and learn Tantra in the comfort of your own home, you will be able to!

    Please email me if you are interested in learning more.  I will be offering the first month of membership FREE and if the recording works out for this month’s class (I am not as technically savvy as I would like to be), I will email it to you for you to get a taste of the great pleasure that is possible when you invite Tantra into your relationship.