Memoirs of a Tantrika

The Official Blog for Charu, founder of Embody Tantra

Archive for Tantric Tips

Sensual Bathing Ritual… A Different Way to Prepare for an Intimate Evening

It’s that time again, THIS SUNDAY 10.18.09 is the next Easiest & Best Date-Night Ever! Sign up NOW because the Early Bird ends TONIGHT!  click here to register.  See below for more information.

 

I hope to see you there and I wanted to share with you a very special, sensual ritual that will prepare you for a very intimate night together… I recommend doing this as a preparation for the event if you can make it, but even on it’s own it is pretty exceptional.

 

Sensual Bathing Ritual

 (once you have tried this ritual, I would LOVE to hear about your experience! Post it on my facebook fan page by clicking here)

What I love about this ritual is that it is so easy to do and so sweet and rewarding.  No matter how much stress you have been under or how challenged you have felt in your relationship you will find yourself feeling tender and open to your love after this.

In India, this ritual is performed before any sacred ceremony.  It is seen as a cleansing process so that you enter into the ceremony new and available to be present.  For our modern lives, this can be a valuable tool to cleanse ourselves from the day so that we can be fully present to our partnership.

 

What you will need:

  1. epsom salts (so easy, you can buy them for a couple of bucks at your local drugstore) *ritual can be done without this
  2. essential oils (I like lavendar or some kind of citrus…) *ritual can be done without this
  3. if you can’t find either of the above, you can do this with simply your favorite liquid soap as bubble bath to add that sensual atmosphere
  4. a tupperware pitcher OR any shape container (unbreakable)
  5. a soft sponge OR washcloth 
  6. liquid soap  
  7. candles
  8. sensual music (check out www.myspace.com/aykannasound)

*you can add additional creative elements if you are inspired… rose petals and incense are always nice 😉

Now, the fun part.  There are a couple of different ways to do this:

1. one partner can get in the tub to receive and the other can sit outside the tub to give (with no exchange, just as a gift of love)

OR

2. both partners can squeeze into the tub together

Getting Started:

I recommend beginning by synchronizing the breath.

If you are both in the tub together, have the woman sit in front of the man, her back to his chest.  He can wrap his hands around her waist and rest them on her belly.

If one partner is outside the tub, he/she can place their hands on either side of the receiving partner’s heart.

Then begin to inhale together feeling the belly filling up like a balloon and exhale together.  Continue this practice for 2-5 minutes.  This will bring your bodies into harmony and you will become even more sensitive to one another’s touch.

Moving on…

Now the giving partner will lather up the receiver.  Once the receiver’s body is soapy and slippery, use this to glide your hands over their skin, and massage in any way that feels good to you.

Gently guide the receiver to move so that you can soap up their entire body.

Once you have lathered and massaged them lovingly, take your Tupperware pitcher and use it to pour warm water over the receiver’s body, rinsing and cleansing them.  You can do this several times because the feel of the warm water pouring over their body will be a real highlight of the experience.

Now that they are rinsed off, you will either switch partners OR have the receiving partner stand and bring them a warm towel.  Wrap the towel around them and pat them dry. 

As the receiver, allow yourself to relax completely and enjoy being pampered!

Ready for love…

Now it’s time to leisurely dress and prepare to attend The Easiest & Best Date-Night with Charu to continue your evening of deepening and exploration. 😉

If you can’t make it to the event, this is a great moment to spend some more quality time together massaging one another, making love, enjoying each other in any way that feels good for you.

Enjoy!

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…here is what some other couples have shared:

 

“Finding tantra was like finding a long lost friend, it felt very natural and normal for my boyfriend and I to be with one another in a more sensitive, present, meditative, energetic, and exploratory way but no one had given us permission before. It was in us! But we needed someone to show us the way.

 

We had a huge break through after just one meeting. Not just huge – gigantic!

Our relationship changed forever after just one session. The work touched us so deeply, so quickly, so powerfully, we could not believe it.”

~Brooke

 

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The Easiest & BEST Date-Night Ever!
Learn How Tantric Meditation Can Enhance Your Love-Life…

Oct 18th . 6-8pm . Culver City

$100 per couple . $75 if you register by MIDNIGHT TONIGHT

click here to register

*every class is DIFFERENT!  come EVERY month!*

 

Honor your partnership by spending a special evening connecting and sharing your deep gratitude and love for one another.   Not only will The Easiest & BEST Date Night be more adventurous than your typical dinner and a movie…it also has the power to change the dynamic of your relationship, giving you all of the tools you need to begin to approach lovemaking and all aspects of your relating in a new and ‘tantric’ way.

 

In a long-term relationship it can be difficult to make sure that you are consistently nourishing your love, connection and sex-life…this special evening offers a different Tantric meditation experience each month so you can effortlessly add a new dimension to your relating on a monthly basis.

By attending, you are taking an important step towards transforming your sex life, and perhaps even more importantly, you are taking a step towards an intimacy that few couples allow themselves to experience. This intimacy shifts the texture of everything you do in life and allows you to experience what you have truly been longing for in partnership.

This class is literally a step-by-step guide to support you in learning how to:

  • free blocks in your own body that are hindering your capacity for pleasure
  • deeply and intimately connect with your partner in totally ‘out of the box’ (no pun intended) ways
  • learn a simple ritual that will connect you and your partner on a completely new level….one that can immediately be put into practice when you make love

*there is NO nudity or sexual contact in the class*

 

Looking forward to seeing you there!

 

The BEST Date- Night / Intro to Tantra for Couples
October 18th 6-8pm . Santa Monica
$100 per couple / $75 if registered before MIDNIGHT TONIGT
to register: http://www.embodytantra.ecrater.com/product.php?pid=4317052

*I am working on recording these so the audio will be accessible to people who are not in the LA area!

FREE Telesummit . Tantric Women in Relationship

I am so excited to announce that TOMORROW, Tuesday 4pm PST I will be beginning an amazing Telesummit featuring interviews with Tantric Women in Relationships.

The goal of this series is to explore how the wisdom of Tantra translates into modern relationships.  It is intended to inspire both women who are in relationship and those who are not by opening their eyes to the possibilities (men are more than welcome to listen too).   I was moved to do this series because of my own awakenings and challenges in relationship.

Through Tantra I have seen and experienced possibilities between two people that are completely out of the context of our societies model for relationship.  This delights me and it also raises new questions.  I see this series as paving a new path of possibilities for women who have seen only limited openings in relationship and also women like me who are dedicated to their personal practice, dedicated to living intimacy and longing for sisters on the journey.

Tomorrow’s interview will be with a beloved teacher and friend of mine, Antoinette Asimus of Tantra Heart www.tantraheart.com.  She and her Husband Richard discovered Tantra in 1996 after 29 years of marriage and have been practicing and teaching ever since.  My experience of them is loving and vibrant and perhaps most impressive is that they wake every morning together for their Tantra lovemaking practice… I am sure Antoinette will share more about that tomorrow…

You can register for all 5 interviews of this telesummit (yes for FREE) at www.tantricwomeninrelationship.blogspot.com.

I am truly excited to uncover the wisdom that these incredible women have to share.  I hope you will join me.

In love,

Charu

The Secret to Great Sex

It has become clear to me that no matter what the exact issue that brings a client through my door, everyone is grasping for the secret to having a deeply fulfilling experience in lovemaking.

People often want to believe or are searching out a technique that, once learned will finally satisfy their partner and transform their experience.

…and there are some techniques out there that are interesting and worth exploring, but the big secret is that great sex does not come from learning something you can ‘do’ differently.  It comes from how intimate you are with yourself.

Our culture has little tolerance for dedicating any time or energy to fully experiencing our bodies because we have become so result oriented.  God forbid we step away from our computer and the possibility of accomplishing one more thing, in order to nourish ourselves!

If we do take the time to nourish ourselves, it comes in the form of a spa treatment, a nice meal out, a ball-game, a Yoga class, etc.  And all of these things are WONDERFUL!  But how many of them really turn you on?  I mean how much of your life touches you in your sex?  Seriously, take a moment to think about it.  When you are not engaged in having sex what percentage of your life are you experiencing the wholeness of yourself including your sexuality?

…I thought so.  Way too little.

The worst part is that we have almost no experience of the potential of our bodies, no relationship to our own sexuality (other than a few goal-oriented masturbation sessions), and yet, we expect our partner to be able to satisfy us and take us to new heights… and if they can’t, we whisper about it to our friends and long for our partner to change.

The good news is that getting in touch with your body and your sexuality is EASY.  Yes, it is.  Whew!  All it takes is a curiosity, an investment in those possibilities that you feel within you, but often don’t listen to.

Try this:

Take the time for a walk in the park or on the beach, while you are there, take a moment to pause and be silent.  Allow yourself to notice what you feel through each sense in your body.  What do you smell?  How does the air feel when it touches your skin?  What colors and shapes do you see?  Sounds do you hear?  Allow yourself to truly absorb all of the sensations of the moment and through this begin to discover something new inside yourself and your relationship to all things.

“All around you, in every moment, The world is offering a feast for your senses.  Songs are playing, tasty food is on the table, Fragrances are in the air, Colors fill the eyes with light.

You who long for union, Attend this banquet with loving focus.  The outer and the inner worlds open to each other…”

~Vighyan Bhirav Tantra as translated by Lorin Roche Ph.D. http://lorinroche.com/

It is so simple that it is almost deceptive because we are not accustomed to allowing life to be simple.

And it is from this place of truly feeling ourselves in a new way, and coming into intimate contact with the world within and without that the great secret to lovemaking is revealed: attunement.

Yup.  No special technique, no following steps 1,2,3 and boom!  As you become more intimate with yourself you will naturally become more intimate with the world.  As you become more intimate with the world you will begin to notice how to simply allow yourself to come into an attunement with this moment in your body.  As you attune to the moment, you become more sensitive to, and can easily attune to your partner.  It is from this place that true lovemaking happens.

As you become more and more sensitive, you will even begin to ‘hear’ what your partners body is telling you.  A longing for a caress here, an invitation for a deeper more vigorous movement, a call to slow down, and so on.  You become one of those rare people that you have heard of in the myths that friends have told you about that past lover who just magically knew what to do, how to touch and who drove them wild.

You can only become aware of these responses in your partner, you can only come into this level of attunement when you have an intimate relationship with yourself.

In many ways you will practice this attunement in every moment of your life.  Life becomes your greatest lover, even just the breath moving in and out of the body is recognized as the sweet pleasure that it is, and sharing with another human being is a delicious expression of this loving.

Want to use this article? You can as long as you include the following: Charu Morgan has dedicated her life to Tantra. Over the past 10 years she has studied and shared Tantra worldwide.  Best-known for her candid Memoirs of a Tantrika blog and her down-to-earth approach, she is committed to educating modern minds on the ancient secrets of Tantra through coaching, events & home-study courses.  If you would like to discover how Tantra can Transform your life, register online for the Memoirs of a Tantrika weekly ezine at www.embodytantra.com and receive your free audio report Better Sex, Richer Life through Tantra.

Upcoming Events with Charu

Beginner Tantra for Couples

Sunday August 9th 6pm . Culver City
$100 per couple / $75 when you register before July 26th
click here to register:


Evening of Awakening . Puja Ritual

Saturday August 15th 7-11pm
$60 per person / $50 if registered before Aug 1st
click here to learn more & register
http://eveningofawakening.blogspot.com/

Stillness in Lovemaking (and a secret lasting longer in bed)

I have said it before, and I will say it again… the bodies have a language of their own.  Most of us have stopped listening when our bodies talk and because of that we have suffered.  We have suffered because we have isolated ourselves, not only from each other, but most importantly from ourselves.

The other day my man and I were making love and he paused, as he often does, and rested inside of me.  With him resting inside my body I began to receive information from his body into mine.  An entire symphony of information.  It felt like a blooming, it began from his penis and then spread out through my body… reaching to the top of my scull and the tips of my toes, pressing against the inside of my skin to the outer edges of me.

He began to move again and it was as though the information withdrew or pulled back as he pulled back to thrust into me.  It was startling and unsettling.  As he continued to move gently in and out of me I noticed that I was consistently experiencing this unsettled sensation of trying to receive the information, but not being able to ‘pin it down’ or absorb it.  Fascinating.

Now, I there are other times when he is moving and I can fully receive what his body is sharing with me, and other languages where I can feel the building of fullness with the intense movement… moments where the way that he is penetrating me feels almost blinding and that feeling of losing control is profound in its own way…

And yet, this experience, which I have often had, of longing for him to stay still so I could drink in this deep knowledge of my man, inspired me to share with the world how important these moments of pause can be.

Many of us are caught in a habitual loop of feeling that we always have to ‘do’ something in lovemaking.  That there is some great technique that will wow our lover and make them love and approve of us or satisfy them beyond belief.  And sometimes within that we are missing the simple magic.  We are railroading over the very connection that we so long for, the connection that nourishes and enlivens.  The connection where two human beings actually enter into a union and open to one another.  Perhaps open and share in a way that is not possible with words or in daily interactions (as we know them).

So, I would like to invite you all to explore the stillness.  Allow it to teach you about what is possible between two bodies as it re-sensitizes you to the moment.

Men ~ it is important to understand that I have just exposed a valuable secret to lasting longer in bed… when/if you feel you are moving toward ejaculation and you would like to postpone it… don’t leave your woman by thinking of baseball or whatever techniques you have created to repress the energy.  Simply allow your body to relax, be still.  Yes, your erection may shift and change while you are still, you may not be as hard as when you are thrusting… this is okay.

Take this time to look your woman in the eyes, caress her body and allow yourself and her to simply relish in the connection between the two bodies.  When and if it feels right to move again you can, as the bond between you has ripened you may notice a new richness as you move inside of her.  You may even notice that your penis is more sensitive to what her body is truly longing for.  Within lovemaking you can pause as many times as you like and you may even choose to experiment with completing your lovemaking this way, simply allowing the charge you have built from moving the bodies to nourish you rather than ending with a big explosion.

There is no ‘right’ way to make love.  Explosions are wonderful, fucking is wonderful… and now you can begin to explore this concept of stillness and see what the process reveals to you about lovemaking and the possibilities.

Want to use this article? You can as long as you include the following: Charu Morgan has dedicated her life to Tantra. Over the past 10 years she has studied and shared Tantra worldwide.  Best-known for her candid Memoirs of a Tantrika blog and her down-to-earth approach, she is committed to educating modern minds on the ancient secrets of Tantra through events, workshops & home-study courses.  If you would like to discover how Tantra can Transform your life, register online for the Memoirs of a Tantrika weekly ezine at www.embodytantra.com and receive your free audio report Better Sex, Richer Life through Tantra.

How to Unlock Your Potential for Pleasure

FREE Teleclass for Women

When: Friday, July 10th 1pm PST/ 2pm MST/ 4pm EST

How to Unlock Your Potential for Pleasure OVERNIGHT and Re-discover Richness & Passion in Your Relationship to Yourself, Your Loved Ones & Your Life!

As many of you know, I have dedicated my life to the study and practice of Tantra. I have seen the Tantric practices simply, almost magically transform the lives and relationships of many, many people. You will learn the tools that have been practiced for thousands of years to simply and effectively tune into the deep wisdom of the body and effortlessly allow that wisdom to become a guiding force in your life.

On the 75-minute call, you’ll discover:

* The exact tools you can use immediately to clear blocks in your body and awaken a flow of orgasmic energy accessible to you in EVERY moment….in just one Tantra session I have seen these tools; save couples relationships, free women from pain or numbness during intercourse, shift body-image issues, and literally awaken the beauty in every woman I have shared them with.

* How these practices will easily break through deep-rooted habitual patterns – in a way that will integrate shifts and changes into your life immediately – something that many therapists & healers are unaware of

* How to uncover an inner wisdom that has been all but lost in our modern culture. Yes, right now you have untapped information you aren’t even aware of…After this call, you’ll know what reveals this wisdom and how to live with ease, heal your body and have better sex by ‘tuning in’ to it.

* How to move beyond your limited experience of pleasure. Even if you are sexually savvy or you are having great sex, what is possible within your body is rarely understood or experienced in our modern times

* The very best part of unlocking your potential for pleasure has very little to do with the great sex you will be having- that is the gravy – the best part is the fulfillment, the confidence, the aliveness and the love you experience within yourself

In love,
Charu

How to Register

Space is limited for the “How to Unlock Your Potential for Pleasure OVERNIGHT and Re-discover Richness & Passion in Your Relationship to Yourself, Your Loved Ones & Your Life!” teleseminar so register by clicking this link now:

http://potentialforpleasure.blogspot.com/

PS– This call could be a turning point in your life – the moment you release who you think you should be and wake up to the woman that you are.

Tantra, Break-ups & FREE Stuff… Oh My!

Exciting news! I have been working with my dear friend Lisa Steadman, relationship coach extraordinaire and best selling author, to create some special courses specifically looking at how Tantra can support women who are experiencing a breakup. It was an immediate ‘click’ for us to work together because of how powerful Tantric meditation can be to support you in creating a strong, loving and authentic relationship with yourself, which is a key part of the process when experiencing a broken heart.

Together Lisa and I created a special teleclass ‘How to Heal Your Heart with Tantra’. Discover how tantra can heal your heart and ease any post-breakup burdens lingering in your body. In this audio interview, I explain what Tantra is, why it can help you and teach a simple exercise using guided meditation, breath and movement techniques to help you re-discover the wisdom of the body and uncover deeper and deeper levels of forgiveness, healing, and peace.

The best part is that you can have this audio class for FREE! Hooray!

Here’s how:

Lisa has a brand new book coming out today that will seriously rock your world if you’re going through a breakup or struggling to heal and move on from past heartbreak. She is offering her brand new workbook along with a bundle of incredible bonus gifts (including How to Heal Your Heart with Tantra) worth 100 times the investment — and you can have it ALL for less than $16!

But to get the workbook AND bonus gifts, you must act now. She’s only making this offer for the first 24 hours.

To get all the juicy details, go here:

www.itsabreakupnotabreakdownworkbook.com

Thank you all so much for your support as Embody Tantra grows and expands! Of course, Tantra is good for a lot more than just helping you through a breakup… let us know what is coming up in your life and areas where you would like to learn more about how Tantra can support you!

Why not start by attending one of this month’s upcoming Tantra events? (see below for details)

in love,

Charu

‘The Longing Puja’

May Tantra Puja Ritual Saturday May 16th 6-10pm (singles and couples welcome) $60 per person/ $50 if you register before MIDNIGHT TONIGHT! click here to register http://embodytantra.ecrater.com/product.php?pid=3521066

What is a Tantra Puja?

A Puja is a prayer. In Tantra, our prayer is recognizing the divine in every human being, our temple is the body. In a Puja ritual each man will have the opportunity to partner with each woman for a simple exercise or meditation. The Tantric meditations use breath, movement, sound, and guided meditation to enrich each meeting throughout the ceremony. Attending Couples may choose to work solely with each other. *there is no nudity or sexual contact in the class

‘The Pathway to Conscious Relationship & Lovemaking’

*a special teleclass for women

Many of us have never been made love to in the way that we intuitively know is possible. We assume that our lover should be able to show us the way…

Sadly, because of this we often find ourselves with lovers who can only meet us where we are at emotionally, mentally & physically and we never experience what lies beyond our personal decided limitations. In order to receive what we are truly longing for in a partnership and to experience the kind of lovemaking that is deeply nourishing and bonding we need to begin to create that pathway within ourselves first.

Join Charu on this special Tele-class where you will be guided into a deep meditation where to meet your own inner-lover and begin to discover the true potential that lovemaking holds as a tool for healing and transformation. The best part is that by practicing this meditation, not only are you creating a space to be met by the lover of your dreams, but you are also learning to love and embrace yourself in such a way that ultimately all neediness dissolves.

You will discover a feeling of completeness and an experience of pleasure from within. From this place, you are empowered to choose a partner who can truly show up for you rather than accepting scraps from those who cannot truly see or appreciate who you are.

May 18th 7-8pm

*Don’t worry if you can’t make it to the LIVE teleseminar / everyone who registers will receive a recording of the meditation to practice with! $59.97 / Register by WEDNESDAY for $29.95 click here to register http://embodytantra.ecrater.com/product.php?pid=4337539 be one of the first 10 to register and receive: *FREE 20 Minute Phone Consultation with Charu ($42 value)

Beginner Tantra for Couples

June 11th 7pm-9:30pm $100 per couple/ $75 when registered before MAY 21st click here to register

http://embodytantra.ecrater.com/product.php?pid=4317052

Honor your partnership by spending a special evening connecting and sharing your deep gratitude and love for one another.

Not only will ‘Beginner Tantra for Couples’ class be more adventurous than your typical dinner and a movie…it also has the power to change the dynamic of your relationship, giving you all of the tools you need to begin to approach lovemaking and all aspects of your relating in a new and ‘tantric’ way. In a long-term relationship it can be difficult to make sure that you are consistently nourishing your love, connection and sex-life…

Beginner Tantra for Couples offers a different Tantric meditation experience each month so you can effortlessly add a new dimension to your relating on a monthly basis. By attending ‘Beginner Tantra for Couples/ Redefining Orgasm’ you are taking an important step towards transforming your sex life, and perhaps even more importantly, you are taking a step towards an intimacy that few couples allow themselves to experience. This intimacy shifts the texture of everything you do in life and allows you to experience what you have truly been longing for in partnership.

This class is literally a step-by-step guide to support you in learning how to: * free blocks in your own body that are hindering your capacity for pleasure * deeply and intimately connect with your partner in totally ‘out of the box’ (no pun intended) ways * learn a simple ritual that will connect you and your partner on a completely new level….one that can immediately be put into practice when you make love Looking forward to seeing you there!

in love,

Charu

Conflict Resolution Tantra Style…

I have been experiencing some rather monstrous PMS this month and  it seems to have unleashed a side of me that is aching for conflict so that I can isolate myself and complain about how lonely I am. 😉

Yesterday, I as soon as I awoke, I had it in for my beloved.  I kept trying to find the side of myself that knows how to bring us closer, but the angry bitch kept running the show.  No matter what he said, it was wrong and even when I would try to show up in a loving way, I had an edge that was silently saying, ‘fuck you’.

I achieved my goal of facilitating an argument that could have debilitated our connection for the entire day.  We both became exhausted by it and we had created a sufficient cloud covering up the parts of ourselves and one another that we love to be around.  Yikes.  Just as I was about to storm out of the room and go through my ‘cooling down’ process of showering for way longer than I need to (secretly hoping that the warm water will wash away the conflict inside of me) and then crawling into bed in my bath robe to cry, I remembered something I had shared with a friend just a few nights before…

This friend was experiencing challenges in her relationship and she did not know how to approach the conflicts in a different way.  Both partners often turned cold and conflicts would end with them turning to stone and going about their day without resolution.  I told her that the most effective thing to do in these moments of conflict is simply to put aside your ‘story’ and hug your man.

Yup, just at that moment when you would like nothing more than to escape the presence of your lover, or to kill them with your bare hands, instead put your body next to theirs, wrap your arms around them and breathe.

…and I decided to take my own advice.  Something I used to remember to do much more in the beginning of my relationship.  Somehow, as time as gone by I have been choosing to ‘prove my point’ above choosing to love my partner.  I asked my love if we could hold one another…it was difficult to even get the words out because I was in the thick of wanting to hate him and make him wrong.  As soon as I said it he opened up completely.  He smiled and laughed and took me in his arms, he thanked me for making a different choice, for being brave and creating a space for us to come together.

At first I was relieved to feel some sweetness between us, and then the burning began.  The burning feeling in my body of being close when all I want is to run away and isolate.  More sweetness, more burning…and then a remembering of the love.  Before my eyes, this man who moments ago was my arch enemy began to transform into my beloved again.

I invite you to try this the next time you experience a challenge with your love…after you try it, if you feel moved, come back to the blog and share what your experience of it was.

in love,

Charu

P.S. Discover tantra…

Ladies~ March 15 10am-4pm Women’s Transformation Event

Everyone ~ the next Puja Ritual will be March 29th 6-10pm

charu@embodytantra.com for more information and to register