Memoirs of a Tantrika

The Official Blog for Charu, founder of Embody Tantra

Archive for tantric life

Sensual Bathing Ritual… A Different Way to Prepare for an Intimate Evening

It’s that time again, THIS SUNDAY 10.18.09 is the next Easiest & Best Date-Night Ever! Sign up NOW because the Early Bird ends TONIGHT!  click here to register.  See below for more information.

 

I hope to see you there and I wanted to share with you a very special, sensual ritual that will prepare you for a very intimate night together… I recommend doing this as a preparation for the event if you can make it, but even on it’s own it is pretty exceptional.

 

Sensual Bathing Ritual

 (once you have tried this ritual, I would LOVE to hear about your experience! Post it on my facebook fan page by clicking here)

What I love about this ritual is that it is so easy to do and so sweet and rewarding.  No matter how much stress you have been under or how challenged you have felt in your relationship you will find yourself feeling tender and open to your love after this.

In India, this ritual is performed before any sacred ceremony.  It is seen as a cleansing process so that you enter into the ceremony new and available to be present.  For our modern lives, this can be a valuable tool to cleanse ourselves from the day so that we can be fully present to our partnership.

 

What you will need:

  1. epsom salts (so easy, you can buy them for a couple of bucks at your local drugstore) *ritual can be done without this
  2. essential oils (I like lavendar or some kind of citrus…) *ritual can be done without this
  3. if you can’t find either of the above, you can do this with simply your favorite liquid soap as bubble bath to add that sensual atmosphere
  4. a tupperware pitcher OR any shape container (unbreakable)
  5. a soft sponge OR washcloth 
  6. liquid soap  
  7. candles
  8. sensual music (check out www.myspace.com/aykannasound)

*you can add additional creative elements if you are inspired… rose petals and incense are always nice 😉

Now, the fun part.  There are a couple of different ways to do this:

1. one partner can get in the tub to receive and the other can sit outside the tub to give (with no exchange, just as a gift of love)

OR

2. both partners can squeeze into the tub together

Getting Started:

I recommend beginning by synchronizing the breath.

If you are both in the tub together, have the woman sit in front of the man, her back to his chest.  He can wrap his hands around her waist and rest them on her belly.

If one partner is outside the tub, he/she can place their hands on either side of the receiving partner’s heart.

Then begin to inhale together feeling the belly filling up like a balloon and exhale together.  Continue this practice for 2-5 minutes.  This will bring your bodies into harmony and you will become even more sensitive to one another’s touch.

Moving on…

Now the giving partner will lather up the receiver.  Once the receiver’s body is soapy and slippery, use this to glide your hands over their skin, and massage in any way that feels good to you.

Gently guide the receiver to move so that you can soap up their entire body.

Once you have lathered and massaged them lovingly, take your Tupperware pitcher and use it to pour warm water over the receiver’s body, rinsing and cleansing them.  You can do this several times because the feel of the warm water pouring over their body will be a real highlight of the experience.

Now that they are rinsed off, you will either switch partners OR have the receiving partner stand and bring them a warm towel.  Wrap the towel around them and pat them dry. 

As the receiver, allow yourself to relax completely and enjoy being pampered!

Ready for love…

Now it’s time to leisurely dress and prepare to attend The Easiest & Best Date-Night with Charu to continue your evening of deepening and exploration. 😉

If you can’t make it to the event, this is a great moment to spend some more quality time together massaging one another, making love, enjoying each other in any way that feels good for you.

Enjoy!

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…here is what some other couples have shared:

 

“Finding tantra was like finding a long lost friend, it felt very natural and normal for my boyfriend and I to be with one another in a more sensitive, present, meditative, energetic, and exploratory way but no one had given us permission before. It was in us! But we needed someone to show us the way.

 

We had a huge break through after just one meeting. Not just huge – gigantic!

Our relationship changed forever after just one session. The work touched us so deeply, so quickly, so powerfully, we could not believe it.”

~Brooke

 

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The Easiest & BEST Date-Night Ever!
Learn How Tantric Meditation Can Enhance Your Love-Life…

Oct 18th . 6-8pm . Culver City

$100 per couple . $75 if you register by MIDNIGHT TONIGHT

click here to register

*every class is DIFFERENT!  come EVERY month!*

 

Honor your partnership by spending a special evening connecting and sharing your deep gratitude and love for one another.   Not only will The Easiest & BEST Date Night be more adventurous than your typical dinner and a movie…it also has the power to change the dynamic of your relationship, giving you all of the tools you need to begin to approach lovemaking and all aspects of your relating in a new and ‘tantric’ way.

 

In a long-term relationship it can be difficult to make sure that you are consistently nourishing your love, connection and sex-life…this special evening offers a different Tantric meditation experience each month so you can effortlessly add a new dimension to your relating on a monthly basis.

By attending, you are taking an important step towards transforming your sex life, and perhaps even more importantly, you are taking a step towards an intimacy that few couples allow themselves to experience. This intimacy shifts the texture of everything you do in life and allows you to experience what you have truly been longing for in partnership.

This class is literally a step-by-step guide to support you in learning how to:

  • free blocks in your own body that are hindering your capacity for pleasure
  • deeply and intimately connect with your partner in totally ‘out of the box’ (no pun intended) ways
  • learn a simple ritual that will connect you and your partner on a completely new level….one that can immediately be put into practice when you make love

*there is NO nudity or sexual contact in the class*

 

Looking forward to seeing you there!

 

The BEST Date- Night / Intro to Tantra for Couples
October 18th 6-8pm . Santa Monica
$100 per couple / $75 if registered before MIDNIGHT TONIGT
to register: http://www.embodytantra.ecrater.com/product.php?pid=4317052

*I am working on recording these so the audio will be accessible to people who are not in the LA area!

FREE Telesummit . Tantric Women in Relationship

I am so excited to announce that TOMORROW, Tuesday 4pm PST I will be beginning an amazing Telesummit featuring interviews with Tantric Women in Relationships.

The goal of this series is to explore how the wisdom of Tantra translates into modern relationships.  It is intended to inspire both women who are in relationship and those who are not by opening their eyes to the possibilities (men are more than welcome to listen too).   I was moved to do this series because of my own awakenings and challenges in relationship.

Through Tantra I have seen and experienced possibilities between two people that are completely out of the context of our societies model for relationship.  This delights me and it also raises new questions.  I see this series as paving a new path of possibilities for women who have seen only limited openings in relationship and also women like me who are dedicated to their personal practice, dedicated to living intimacy and longing for sisters on the journey.

Tomorrow’s interview will be with a beloved teacher and friend of mine, Antoinette Asimus of Tantra Heart www.tantraheart.com.  She and her Husband Richard discovered Tantra in 1996 after 29 years of marriage and have been practicing and teaching ever since.  My experience of them is loving and vibrant and perhaps most impressive is that they wake every morning together for their Tantra lovemaking practice… I am sure Antoinette will share more about that tomorrow…

You can register for all 5 interviews of this telesummit (yes for FREE) at www.tantricwomeninrelationship.blogspot.com.

I am truly excited to uncover the wisdom that these incredible women have to share.  I hope you will join me.

In love,

Charu

My Apologies to the Men…

To all the men out there… I must apologize.  It is true that over the last several months my focus has appeared to be on women.  I am sorry.

The truth is that I am cooking up something extraordinary for men, it is a project that is very close to my heart and I can’t wait to share it with you.  Problem is that I have had to admit to myself recently that I am not super-woman.  I know, it was as shocking for me as it is for you.  And because I am not super-woman I can’t do it all.  I have had to postpone my FREE seminar for men AND my special men’s home-study course until early next year.

I promise you, I am just as bummed as you are, but what I know is that it is going to be amazing and by trying to squeeze it in before year’s end I was not going to be able to show up with my best… and that is of the utmost importance to me.

So men, hang in there please! I do love you, I love working with you and I have much to share with you.

I would also like to add that the last several months have taught me so much about men.  For whatever reason, most of my coaching clients have been men lately, more specifically men in relationship.  What I have learned and seen in man has changed me.  I have seen dedication, love, devotion, passion.  I have seen the side of man that woman is waiting for.  And it is so beautiful.

I have also seen in myself and in woman, all of the many ways we play into a dynamic that keeps man from showing up in this way with us.  When he does not show up strongly, we feel justified in not surrendering and opening up to him.  When we don’t open up, we perpetuate the cycle of pain between man and woman that has been going on for hundreds of years.

Have you experienced this?  Men? Women?  I would love to hear your thoughts.  Feel free to leave them as comments here on the blog…I promise I do actually read every one.

P.S. I am beginning a monthly meditation teleclass THIS MONTH… open to both men and women.  And, the first month is FREE!  Men, if you are ready to dive in now, check it out http://tantralifemembership.blogspot.com/

Beyond Clitoral Orgasms…

My Story of Re-Sensitizing my Vagina:

I was one of those women who, once I figured out how to have a clitoral orgasm (not until I was about 14 AND it was my boyfriend who encouraged me to touch myself…I said, ‘no, it will only feel good to me if you touch me’… where did I get that idea?)  Once I did figure out how to pleasure myself and how fucking great it was, I practically made a career out of it.  Thus, it was very easy for me to experience orgasm via my clitoris.

Up until about 4 years ago when my beloved and I got together, I had rarely, if ever, experienced vaginal orgasm, although I had begun to experience ‘full body orgasm’ through my Tantra practice without any stimulation from outside of me at all, simply from practicing the simplest meditations.

So, I was beginning to explore my body in new ways and I was curious and confused about why I was not very sensitive on the inside of my vagina.

When I got together with my love, I told him, ‘let’s try something new, I would like you to steer clear of my clitoris and I will too…I want to see what else I am feeling when you are making love with me’.  This was a great decision and we did it for more than a year.

What opened up inside of me was amazing.  I began to become more and more aware of the sensations in my vagina and within days…literally (now remember, I already had a developed Tantra practice, I was ripe for this) I was experiencing vaginal orgasm in many different ways.  As time went on, I began to experience waves of orgasm almost throughout the duration of our lovemaking, I learned how to relax into the waves until I was able to drop into TOTAL presence.  A feeling as if I was sitting in the bindu (center) point of orgasm, orgasm was expansive and never-ending rather than intense and explosive.  I also began to become so sensitive to him, and him to me, that I could feel and ride the waves of orgasm within his body, I even began to experience orgasm the moment he entered me, a wash of union… and this feeling would run through his body and mine together.

Now, that I have become more sensitive to all of the sensations, I bring in my clitoris when it feels right.  It is far less often than before and in many ways less interesting.  I share this with you because what I have discovered is AMAZING and possible for every woman.  The best part is that I don’t for a moment believe that I have discovered everything.  I continue to expand and I can’t wait to discover even more of what is possible in my own body and with my beloved.

Diana Richardson speaks at length about re-sensitizing in her book, ‘Tantric Orgasm for Women’. This book was a huge part of me learning to trust the natural intuitions that I had, even though many of them were in direct conflict with what I had learned through cosmopolitan magazine and how I had come to define myself sexually.

Are you ready to begin your tantric journey?

For those in the LA area:

http://eveningofawakening.blogspot.com/

For women in distant places:

7 week Home-Study Course available for pre-order:

http://awakentoyourbody.blogspot.com/

Want to use this article? You can as long as you include the following: Charu Morgan has dedicated her life to Tantra. Over the past 10 years she has studied and shared Tantra worldwide. Best-known for her candid Memoirs of a Tantrika blog and her down-to-earth approach, she is committed to educating modern minds on the ancient secrets of Tantra through coaching, events & home-study courses. If you would like to discover how Tantra can Transform your life, register online for the Memoirs of a Tantrika weekly ezine at www.embodytantra.com and receive your free audio report Better Sex, Richer Life through Tantra.

Hidden Behind Your Conditioned Behavior is the Best Orgasm You Have Ever Had

So much of how we are showing up sexually has been implanted by ideas from our friends, magazines, society.  So little of it is coming from within.  In fact, most of us have no idea how we would behave sexually if we had not been guided by these external forces.  Everything from the idea of what an orgasm should look like, to how often we should have them, to what our lover should do to give them to us, to how big or hard their penis should be or what is the best shape for her breasts.

What I have found is that actually what I have truly been craving sexually, what some small part of me deep inside has been calling for, was actually almost completely different than what I thought I wanted and how I was operating sexually.

For example, I used to be very attached to my explosive clitoral orgasm and I would often get into patterns with the men I was with where I would basically demand that they go down on me and bring me to an orgasm before I took them inside of me.  It was always ‘my turn first’ as it were, and I considered myself to be lucky to have partners who were willing to ‘make sure that I was satisfied’…

As I began to become more in tune with the messages in my body, that began to feel less authentic and I found myself opening up in different ways… I even noticed when I did follow that old pattern, I would become wet, but in some ways my vagina would be tight when I took my lover inside of me, rather than warm and open and receptive.  I noticed that it was when my lover paid attention to my breasts that my vagina would actually become totally receptive so that when I did take him inside of me, I was sensitive to him and I felt like I was inviting him in to a rich landscape.  My vagina would become so sensitive in fact, that I ultimately became orgasmic from the moment he entered my body.

This was a huge shift and it came not only from allowing myself to listen to the messages of my body, but also from giving myself permission to do it differently.  The book Tantric Orgasm for Women played a huge part in me discovering that I was not alone in this and reading it helped me to give myself permission to try things radically differently and say ‘yes’ to the voice inside of me.

Again, it is when we begin to truly connect within that we are able to hear these messages that we have overridden for most of our lives.

Want to use this article? You can as long as you include the following: Charu Morgan has dedicated her life to Tantra. Over the past 10 years she has studied and shared Tantra worldwide. Best-known for her candid Memoirs of a Tantrika blog and her down-to-earth approach, she is committed to educating modern minds on the ancient secrets of Tantra through coaching, events & home-study courses. If you would like to discover how Tantra can Transform your life, register online for the Memoirs of a Tantrika weekly ezine at www.embodytantra.com and receive your free audio report Better Sex, Richer Life through Tantra.

Upcoming Events with Charu

Beginner Tantra for Couples

Sunday August 9th 6pm . Culver City
$100 per couple / $75 when you register before July 26th
click here to register:
http://embodytantra.ecrater.com/product.php?pid=4317052

Evening of Awakening . Puja Ritual
Saturday August 15th 7-11pm
$60 per person / $50 if registered before Aug 1st
click here to learn more & register
http://eveningofawakening.blogspot.com/

The Secret to Great Sex

It has become clear to me that no matter what the exact issue that brings a client through my door, everyone is grasping for the secret to having a deeply fulfilling experience in lovemaking.

People often want to believe or are searching out a technique that, once learned will finally satisfy their partner and transform their experience.

…and there are some techniques out there that are interesting and worth exploring, but the big secret is that great sex does not come from learning something you can ‘do’ differently.  It comes from how intimate you are with yourself.

Our culture has little tolerance for dedicating any time or energy to fully experiencing our bodies because we have become so result oriented.  God forbid we step away from our computer and the possibility of accomplishing one more thing, in order to nourish ourselves!

If we do take the time to nourish ourselves, it comes in the form of a spa treatment, a nice meal out, a ball-game, a Yoga class, etc.  And all of these things are WONDERFUL!  But how many of them really turn you on?  I mean how much of your life touches you in your sex?  Seriously, take a moment to think about it.  When you are not engaged in having sex what percentage of your life are you experiencing the wholeness of yourself including your sexuality?

…I thought so.  Way too little.

The worst part is that we have almost no experience of the potential of our bodies, no relationship to our own sexuality (other than a few goal-oriented masturbation sessions), and yet, we expect our partner to be able to satisfy us and take us to new heights… and if they can’t, we whisper about it to our friends and long for our partner to change.

The good news is that getting in touch with your body and your sexuality is EASY.  Yes, it is.  Whew!  All it takes is a curiosity, an investment in those possibilities that you feel within you, but often don’t listen to.

Try this:

Take the time for a walk in the park or on the beach, while you are there, take a moment to pause and be silent.  Allow yourself to notice what you feel through each sense in your body.  What do you smell?  How does the air feel when it touches your skin?  What colors and shapes do you see?  Sounds do you hear?  Allow yourself to truly absorb all of the sensations of the moment and through this begin to discover something new inside yourself and your relationship to all things.

“All around you, in every moment, The world is offering a feast for your senses.  Songs are playing, tasty food is on the table, Fragrances are in the air, Colors fill the eyes with light.

You who long for union, Attend this banquet with loving focus.  The outer and the inner worlds open to each other…”

~Vighyan Bhirav Tantra as translated by Lorin Roche Ph.D. http://lorinroche.com/

It is so simple that it is almost deceptive because we are not accustomed to allowing life to be simple.

And it is from this place of truly feeling ourselves in a new way, and coming into intimate contact with the world within and without that the great secret to lovemaking is revealed: attunement.

Yup.  No special technique, no following steps 1,2,3 and boom!  As you become more intimate with yourself you will naturally become more intimate with the world.  As you become more intimate with the world you will begin to notice how to simply allow yourself to come into an attunement with this moment in your body.  As you attune to the moment, you become more sensitive to, and can easily attune to your partner.  It is from this place that true lovemaking happens.

As you become more and more sensitive, you will even begin to ‘hear’ what your partners body is telling you.  A longing for a caress here, an invitation for a deeper more vigorous movement, a call to slow down, and so on.  You become one of those rare people that you have heard of in the myths that friends have told you about that past lover who just magically knew what to do, how to touch and who drove them wild.

You can only become aware of these responses in your partner, you can only come into this level of attunement when you have an intimate relationship with yourself.

In many ways you will practice this attunement in every moment of your life.  Life becomes your greatest lover, even just the breath moving in and out of the body is recognized as the sweet pleasure that it is, and sharing with another human being is a delicious expression of this loving.

Want to use this article? You can as long as you include the following: Charu Morgan has dedicated her life to Tantra. Over the past 10 years she has studied and shared Tantra worldwide.  Best-known for her candid Memoirs of a Tantrika blog and her down-to-earth approach, she is committed to educating modern minds on the ancient secrets of Tantra through coaching, events & home-study courses.  If you would like to discover how Tantra can Transform your life, register online for the Memoirs of a Tantrika weekly ezine at www.embodytantra.com and receive your free audio report Better Sex, Richer Life through Tantra.

Upcoming Events with Charu

Beginner Tantra for Couples

Sunday August 9th 6pm . Culver City
$100 per couple / $75 when you register before July 26th
click here to register:


Evening of Awakening . Puja Ritual

Saturday August 15th 7-11pm
$60 per person / $50 if registered before Aug 1st
click here to learn more & register
http://eveningofawakening.blogspot.com/

Stillness in Lovemaking (and a secret lasting longer in bed)

I have said it before, and I will say it again… the bodies have a language of their own.  Most of us have stopped listening when our bodies talk and because of that we have suffered.  We have suffered because we have isolated ourselves, not only from each other, but most importantly from ourselves.

The other day my man and I were making love and he paused, as he often does, and rested inside of me.  With him resting inside my body I began to receive information from his body into mine.  An entire symphony of information.  It felt like a blooming, it began from his penis and then spread out through my body… reaching to the top of my scull and the tips of my toes, pressing against the inside of my skin to the outer edges of me.

He began to move again and it was as though the information withdrew or pulled back as he pulled back to thrust into me.  It was startling and unsettling.  As he continued to move gently in and out of me I noticed that I was consistently experiencing this unsettled sensation of trying to receive the information, but not being able to ‘pin it down’ or absorb it.  Fascinating.

Now, I there are other times when he is moving and I can fully receive what his body is sharing with me, and other languages where I can feel the building of fullness with the intense movement… moments where the way that he is penetrating me feels almost blinding and that feeling of losing control is profound in its own way…

And yet, this experience, which I have often had, of longing for him to stay still so I could drink in this deep knowledge of my man, inspired me to share with the world how important these moments of pause can be.

Many of us are caught in a habitual loop of feeling that we always have to ‘do’ something in lovemaking.  That there is some great technique that will wow our lover and make them love and approve of us or satisfy them beyond belief.  And sometimes within that we are missing the simple magic.  We are railroading over the very connection that we so long for, the connection that nourishes and enlivens.  The connection where two human beings actually enter into a union and open to one another.  Perhaps open and share in a way that is not possible with words or in daily interactions (as we know them).

So, I would like to invite you all to explore the stillness.  Allow it to teach you about what is possible between two bodies as it re-sensitizes you to the moment.

Men ~ it is important to understand that I have just exposed a valuable secret to lasting longer in bed… when/if you feel you are moving toward ejaculation and you would like to postpone it… don’t leave your woman by thinking of baseball or whatever techniques you have created to repress the energy.  Simply allow your body to relax, be still.  Yes, your erection may shift and change while you are still, you may not be as hard as when you are thrusting… this is okay.

Take this time to look your woman in the eyes, caress her body and allow yourself and her to simply relish in the connection between the two bodies.  When and if it feels right to move again you can, as the bond between you has ripened you may notice a new richness as you move inside of her.  You may even notice that your penis is more sensitive to what her body is truly longing for.  Within lovemaking you can pause as many times as you like and you may even choose to experiment with completing your lovemaking this way, simply allowing the charge you have built from moving the bodies to nourish you rather than ending with a big explosion.

There is no ‘right’ way to make love.  Explosions are wonderful, fucking is wonderful… and now you can begin to explore this concept of stillness and see what the process reveals to you about lovemaking and the possibilities.

Want to use this article? You can as long as you include the following: Charu Morgan has dedicated her life to Tantra. Over the past 10 years she has studied and shared Tantra worldwide.  Best-known for her candid Memoirs of a Tantrika blog and her down-to-earth approach, she is committed to educating modern minds on the ancient secrets of Tantra through events, workshops & home-study courses.  If you would like to discover how Tantra can Transform your life, register online for the Memoirs of a Tantrika weekly ezine at www.embodytantra.com and receive your free audio report Better Sex, Richer Life through Tantra.