Memoirs of a Tantrika

The Official Blog for Charu, founder of Embody Tantra

Archive for October, 2008

Beyond Your Comfort Zone

Hello Friends,

Recently my vision of community has been manifesting effortlessly.  My beloved teacher and friend Dawn Cartwright has come to stay with me for seven weeks and many things are falling into place as I discover life with her.

The other day she invited me to come swimming in the ocean.  I have lived in LA almost 5 years and I have never swam in the ocean…I have always had a very good reason – it is too cold, I don’t want to be wet, the current is too strong, etc, etc, etc.

She was so excited and inspiring that I set aside my reasons and dove in with her.  The waves were particularly aggressive and we both wound up getting tossed about and feeling a bit shaken by our sea experience.

Even though all of the reasons that had been keeping me from diving in for all of these years were totally valid, something amazing happened.  I felt a new aliveness arising within me.  I felt renewed by the kiss of the sea and everything about me felt vibrant.  My heart felt like it was bursting out of my chest.  Wow.  Here I have been longing for spa treatments and I had no idea that I could feel so relaxed and revitalized by engaging with the nature around me.

Today we went back to the sea.  I was still a bit shaken and chose to dip in just near the shore.  Dawn swam bravely out to where the day before we were nearly swallowed by the waves.

As I watched her swimming I remembered how liberated I felt being carried by the waves yesterday before my fear got in the way.

Wading by the shore I felt small with fear.  How much of my life have I been living this way?

As I have gotten older I realize that much of my life is now about inviting in more experiences that I already know I like, experiences that make me feel comfortable and safe.  The more experiences I have, the easier it has become to categorize the ones I like and would like to repeat and the ones I dislike based on a past experience that was uncomfortable.  The more resources I have the easier it is to create this ‘comfort zone’ and live within it.

My experience in the ocean has changed me and I intend to go back again and again now that I have discovered how magical it is.  It has permeated my life and offered me a clear picture of how I have been living and making choices. It has also shown me what is available to me when I have the courage to step out of my comfort zone.

Life is so short.  Why waste your time playing it safe?  What is keeping you from diving in?  Press every boundary and taste what it is to truly be alive.

Join me this Sunday for a unique Puja experience and experience life on a new level.

in love,

Tantra Puja Sunday October 26th

Downtown LA . 6-11pm . $40 per person

click here to register:

In this Puja we will be exploring the ‘tattvas’ or universal categories.

For the Tantric every moment is an opportunity to touch life more deeply.  Through these tattvas we will explore how to truly penetrate and receive life, learning to live our lovemaking in everything we do.

These Pujas are not to be missed.  My largest monthly event, the Puja creates an amazing atmosphere of aliveness.  Our beautiful venue ‘Project Butterfly’ allows us to celebrate and play with delicious homemade food and wonderful conversation long after the ritual is complete.  Please register as soon as possible since these events fill up fast.

Let’s Get it On!

This week our focus is on the Sutra:

“Even remembering union, without the embrace… transformation.”
~Shiva / Vighyan Bhairav Tantra

Isn’t it time we embraced the humanness of our sexuality?

People often think of Tantra and Tantric sex as one thing. Some kind of very slow and quiet exchange of energy….and yes, it is true that as you become more and more sensitive, less and less movement is required for you to feel the orgasmic flow of energy moving through the body. Having said that, Tantric sex is quite simply, sex that you are present for.

Most of us have no idea how much we have been disconnecting from the lower half of our bodies. Through the Tantric meditations we begin to re-sensitize and come alive to all that we have been cut off from. The more we experience what it feels like to be connected, and practice being connected to ourselves, in our own bodies….the more we are able to bring more of ourselves to our lovemaking.

Once you are connected to your own body, and able to stay present to yourself and your partner…then all kinds of lovemaking becomes ‘Tantric’.  Slamming one another against walls, hanging from the chandlier, longing to fuck so badly that you can taste it…all of these very human and natural desires can become your meditation.

In this weeks class we will go on a journey beginning with exploring the depths of our animal sexuality through to discovering and experiencing a totally new way of relating and making love.  We will embrace the full spectrum of being human and therefore a sexual being.  You will have the opportunity to move through your judgments about your own desires and dive into exactly what feels good for you.

If any part of you has longed to understand and experience the true essence of Tantric Lovemaking….don’t miss this class!

Losing Control…

I went into a total panic today doing a back bend walking down the wall in Yoga class. The most amazing thing is that I CAN walk my hands all the way down the wall into the full back bend. In this exercise we had to bring awareness from the ‘starting spot’ on the wall. Just a slight back bend with hands pressed into the wall.

I began to flip out. I totally lost the use of all the tools I have been working for years to learn, create and trust in. I could not breathe, could not use my muscles. The teacher was helping me, reminding me of where the channels of breath are in my body to support me, encouraging me to engage in the areas I was avoiding to better support my body and my process, inviting me to relax my body and breathe….somewhere inside of me I knew it was possible, but I just could not figure out how to do it. I hated myself for feeling so incapable. I know how to fucking relax…I know how to breathe!!! DAMN it! What is wrong with me? The slightest bit of stress and I lose everything! …and how this must be manifesting in my life…

I came out of the pose encouraging myself to find a last bit of strength and come out smoothly without injury. As I came up I noticed the entire class looking at me. It was disorienting. I felt I had lost control of the part of me that monitors if people are approving or disapproving of me. I knew somewhere inside of me that they had all been through this before and they were looking at me with love and support, but I could not feel that. All I could feel was strange confusion…wondering if I had done something wrong or stupid to garner this attention.

The journey continues…just keep trying not to take myself too seriously.

Sensuality and Your Spine…

This week the focus in on the Sutra:

“Place your whole attention in the nerve, delicate as the lotus thread, in the center of your spinal column. In such be transformed.”
~Shiva / Vighyan Bhairav Tantra

How often do we really think about what we are made of?

This vessel that we call the body…this intricate machine that holds in it a person with hopes and dreams and dramas. This miraculous body with skin that will actually grow back together when we cut it, muscles that adapt as we stretch and strengthen them, a heart that pumps blood through our veins every moment of every day.

We live in a world that has become completely disconnected from the body. The way we handle medicine, birth, eating, lovemaking is shocking. Guns are legal and being naked is not….I could go on and on…

Beyond any spiritual or political journey or attitude, we are missing out on the best, most delicious elements of life.

As much as we have unconsciously disconnected, our bodies have faithfully stored all of our lifes’ experiences. Our pleasures and pains. Pockets of un-felt feelings live in our tense joints and joys yet to be experienced lie waiting just beyond protective layers.

One of the keys to coming back home to the body is awakening the spine. The spine carries the messages from the brain to the body and body to brain. It has long been acknowledged in ancient traditions as the connection between heaven and earth.

This week in class we will re-discover the wisdom of our spine and allow it to gently invite us home to our bodies.

Try this meditation:

  • Sit in a comfortable seated position and become aware of the breath moving in and out of the body

  • Begin to rock the pelvis forward and back

  • Allow the spine to follow the pelvis…feeling the snake-like movement originating from the pelvis and traveling up the spine

  • connect the movement with your breath and experiment with a range from a big rocking motion to tiny imperceptible movements.

  • after 5 minutes allow the body to come to a stillness and sit silently for 5-10 minutes

Begin to discover the power and the sweetness of allowing energy to move through the spine.

in love,

embody truth, embody love…embody tantra

Trying Times & Tantra

This week we are exploring the Sutra:

“With the mouth slightly open, keep mind in the middle of the tongue. Or, as breath comes silently in, feel the sound ‘hh’.”
~Shiva / Vighyan Bhairav Tantra

What is available to you that you are not tapping into?

With the world in such a state of flux it is becoming more and more apparent that we must look within. Our attempts to manipulate change in the world around us are a hollow waste of energy when we have not yet mastered, or even explored, the world within.

Our body holds within it every aspect of the world around us. Understanding this can support our overall health and well being. Taking it a step further, if you see war in the world around you – look to where there is a war within yourself. For example; I should have worked harder, I hate my body, I didn’t get it right, do it good enough, etc, etc. Accept it and acknowledge it because fighting it only creates more.

What if it wasn’t about changing the world? What if peace came from accepting the world as it is? Accepting the wars, the violence, the collapse, the tragedy, alongside the love, abundance, expansion and delight?

What would your life be like if you didn’t invest your energy into ‘saving the environment’ or ‘stopping the war’ or ‘effecting positive change’?

What if you felt your outrage and embraced it as a part of yourself?

You might still make choices that will be good for the environment or the world, but perhaps they would come from a different place…

This week in class we will look at bringing our attention inward.

“With the mouth slightly open, keep mind in the middle of the tongue. Or, as breath comes silently in, feel the sound ‘hh’.”
~Shiva / Vighyan Bhairav Tantra

With all of our attention in the heart of our tongue there is no space for our thoughts, fears, issues, longings, inner wars. There is only space for what is.

We return to a resonance with nature, like that of the tree. Still, strong, no less and no more a tree no matter what is going on around it.

No matter the state of the world ‘what is’ remains simple and pure. It continues to be available to us no matter what is swirling around us.

Weekly Meditation: Tong-lon Tibetan Buddhist meditation:

  • This meditation can be done sitting in a comfortable seated position or for more of a challenge try doing it from a ‘warrior two’ yoga asana
  • See in your mind’s eye everything in the world that frightens and upsets you. See the economy, see starving children, see global warming, torture, plane crashes, abuse…allow yourself to be disturbed.
  • exhale and stretch your arms our wide
  • inhale pull your hands toward each other until they come to one inch away from each other. As you inhale imagine gathering up all of these disturbing images and pulling them into your body. Everything that you would like to fight against and push away, invite it in.
  • Exhale send out a cooling, relieving breeze to anyone and anything you feel needs it
  • Repeat this movement and imagery several times, each time taking in the things that frighten and upset you and exhaling the cooling breath to the world
  • If you have been in a warrior 2 stance, change sides and repeat
  • Sit silently for a moment when you are complete
  • You may want to journal your experience…reflect on:
  1. How did that feel?
  2. What came up for you?
  3. What do you feel the purpose is of working with opposites in this way?

I encourage you to comment on your feelings about this or your experiences of the meditation here on the blog.

in love,

embody truth, embody love…embody tantra

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