Memoirs of a Tantrika

The Official Blog for Charu, founder of Embody Tantra

Deeper and Deeper…

It’s a funny thing when you are on a journey of self-discovery…in my experience, what tends to happen to people, is that they get to a certain point, get comfortable with this new way of thinking that they have discovered, and then basically use this new way of being as a way to miss the rest of the deepening that is available to them.

For example; someone might learn to think positive…they may have experienced amazing things as they began to think positive, and now it’s years later, they have become totally attached to controlling their thoughts, they have become attached to an identity of being someone who ‘thinks positive’, and they are completely unavailable for their next stage of growth…perhaps the stage that would include a deepening or a true, lasting transformation.

I know this because it has happened to me. I have often used the breakthroughs I have had, and the discoveries I have made in order to create a new set of ‘rules’ to follow that will keep me comfortable and developed and connected – to a point. I rest at this plateau of development until something comes along to rock my world, pull the ground out from under me and show me that in fact there is more…

For me, Tantra is an exceptional path because it offers nothing to hold onto. No rules to live by, no precepts, no right and wrong…because of this it is easier to stay out of a ‘comfort zone’ and consistently live life on the edge.

So, where is it in your life that you could go deeper? What encourages your deepening and what prevents it?

For me, I could love more. I am encouraged to love more by my practice of the Tantric meditations and I prevent myself from loving more by eating fast food and indulging in an attitude that there is not enough time, money or love to go around.

One thing that I have discovered most of us use to avoid deepening is living our lives two steps ahead of ourselves. Always onto the next bite before we are done chewing the first one, always onto the next task before we are done completing the other, always onto the next event before we have integrated the one before…

I encourage you to notice in your life when you are ‘ahead of yourself’, take a deep breath, slow down, and see what happens.  Join in the conversation by sharing your experiences in the comments section of this blog.

**Email me at with ‘Deeper and Deeper’ in the header for a FREE meditation to encourage a meeting with yourself in this moment (not two steps ahead). My gift to you as a ‘thank you’ for supporting my blog!


  Scott wrote @

Does your year off from sex only involve intercourse or does it mean that neither one of you have an orgasm assisted by the other for a year?

Why is a year better than a month, two months or six months? Will you have better insights in the 11th month than you would have in the fourth month?

I was with a woman who did the same sort of thing. I went along in the beginning but after a while it felt like someone had designed the biggest hoop in the history of the universe for me to jump through to prove my love. I left her after six weeks.

  goddessdiaries wrote @

Welcome to WordPress Charu. You are Faasssssst!
I am very impressed with not only your deep sharing and honesty, but your technical and “go get ’em” skills.
It was a great treat to spend time with you yesterday and hear more of your journey.
In light.

  Dustin wrote @

My Tantric experience has been marked cycles of lessons that always lead me deeper into myself.

My first lesson was accepting that I was worthy of being loved. This was a hard lesson to learn, but when I did, the next step naturally followed. I was ready to learn to experience being and sharing love.

I’ll admit, I still have much to learn about showing my love, but I did the best I could at the time. I fell into the trap of complacency and the Universe gave me my next lesson; could I find love in my heart if my partner betrayed my trust and found another? Or would I fall into old patterns and seal my heart to run away from the pain?

Many times during this lesson, I wish I’d not taken the ‘red pill’ that is Tantra. It was a painful journey. But in the end, I came to understand that yes, I could hold my heart open and love this woman. I was happier than I’d been in forever…

Now the Universe has stepped in and presented another opportunity for me. Can I learn to love, let go, and move on?

So I gird myself and walk into the unknown one more time. Acknowledging that every turn, no matter how painful, brings me closer to who I really am.

Tantra will indeed rock your world; and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

  Teri Jo wrote @

this is soooo true charu – thanks for putting it into words. i feel i am in a place where i am desperately seeking something to hold onto – after everything in my world has been turned upside down – especially the image of WHO I THOUGHT I WAS…… and it is really uncomfortable. i am searching the past and scanning the future for glimmers of who i am…. and your writing reminds me – to STOP and BE STILL… there is nothing to figure out. there is nothing and no one to blame (i have of course been feeling embarrassed and sad about it all). gosh this ‘being in the moment’ is such a challenge. i want to live more like this. and even in the wanting i am not there.

thank you always for sharing your AMAZING growth process. i applaud you and your courage to continually deepen! you take risks far deeper than any human i know. You also have more freedom, joy, ecstacy, wildness, authenticity, presence, availability than anyone i know. i am always inspired by you! i feel very SAFE with YOU! i LOVE YOU!

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