Memoirs of a Tantrika

The Official Blog for Charu, founder of Embody Tantra

Archive for Self-discovery

FREE Telesummit . Tantric Women in Relationship

September 29, 2009 at 1:47 am · Filed under Self-discovery, Tantric Tips, tantric life, tantric sex, women's sexuality and tagged: , , , , ,

I am so excited to announce that TOMORROW, Tuesday 4pm PST I will be beginning an amazing Telesummit featuring interviews with Tantric Women in Relationships.

The goal of this series is to explore how the wisdom of Tantra translates into modern relationships.  It is intended to inspire both women who are in relationship and those who are not by opening their eyes to the possibilities (men are more than welcome to listen too).   I was moved to do this series because of my own awakenings and challenges in relationship.

Through Tantra I have seen and experienced possibilities between two people that are completely out of the context of our societies model for relationship.  This delights me and it also raises new questions.  I see this series as paving a new path of possibilities for women who have seen only limited openings in relationship and also women like me who are dedicated to their personal practice, dedicated to living intimacy and longing for sisters on the journey.

Tomorrow’s interview will be with a beloved teacher and friend of mine, Antoinette Asimus of Tantra Heart www.tantraheart.com.  She and her Husband Richard discovered Tantra in 1996 after 29 years of marriage and have been practicing and teaching ever since.  My experience of them is loving and vibrant and perhaps most impressive is that they wake every morning together for their Tantra lovemaking practice… I am sure Antoinette will share more about that tomorrow…

You can register for all 5 interviews of this telesummit (yes for FREE) at www.tantricwomeninrelationship.blogspot.com.

I am truly excited to uncover the wisdom that these incredible women have to share.  I hope you will join me.

In love,

Charu

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Beyond Clitoral Orgasms…

August 4, 2009 at 3:05 am · Filed under Personal Stories, Self-discovery, tantric life, tantric sex, women's sexuality and tagged: , , , , , , ,

My Story of Re-Sensitizing my Vagina:

I was one of those women who, once I figured out how to have a clitoral orgasm (not until I was about 14 AND it was my boyfriend who encouraged me to touch myself…I said, ‘no, it will only feel good to me if you touch me’… where did I get that idea?)  Once I did figure out how to pleasure myself and how fucking great it was, I practically made a career out of it.  Thus, it was very easy for me to experience orgasm via my clitoris.

Up until about 4 years ago when my beloved and I got together, I had rarely, if ever, experienced vaginal orgasm, although I had begun to experience ‘full body orgasm’ through my Tantra practice without any stimulation from outside of me at all, simply from practicing the simplest meditations.

So, I was beginning to explore my body in new ways and I was curious and confused about why I was not very sensitive on the inside of my vagina.

When I got together with my love, I told him, ‘let’s try something new, I would like you to steer clear of my clitoris and I will too…I want to see what else I am feeling when you are making love with me’.  This was a great decision and we did it for more than a year.

What opened up inside of me was amazing.  I began to become more and more aware of the sensations in my vagina and within days…literally (now remember, I already had a developed Tantra practice, I was ripe for this) I was experiencing vaginal orgasm in many different ways.  As time went on, I began to experience waves of orgasm almost throughout the duration of our lovemaking, I learned how to relax into the waves until I was able to drop into TOTAL presence.  A feeling as if I was sitting in the bindu (center) point of orgasm, orgasm was expansive and never-ending rather than intense and explosive.  I also began to become so sensitive to him, and him to me, that I could feel and ride the waves of orgasm within his body, I even began to experience orgasm the moment he entered me, a wash of union… and this feeling would run through his body and mine together.

Now, that I have become more sensitive to all of the sensations, I bring in my clitoris when it feels right.  It is far less often than before and in many ways less interesting.  I share this with you because what I have discovered is AMAZING and possible for every woman.  The best part is that I don’t for a moment believe that I have discovered everything.  I continue to expand and I can’t wait to discover even more of what is possible in my own body and with my beloved.

Diana Richardson speaks at length about re-sensitizing in her book, ‘Tantric Orgasm for Women’. This book was a huge part of me learning to trust the natural intuitions that I had, even though many of them were in direct conflict with what I had learned through cosmopolitan magazine and how I had come to define myself sexually.

Are you ready to begin your tantric journey?

For those in the LA area:

http://eveningofawakening.blogspot.com/

For women in distant places:

7 week Home-Study Course available for pre-order:

http://awakentoyourbody.blogspot.com/

Want to use this article? You can as long as you include the following: Charu Morgan has dedicated her life to Tantra. Over the past 10 years she has studied and shared Tantra worldwide. Best-known for her candid Memoirs of a Tantrika blog and her down-to-earth approach, she is committed to educating modern minds on the ancient secrets of Tantra through coaching, events & home-study courses. If you would like to discover how Tantra can Transform your life, register online for the Memoirs of a Tantrika weekly ezine at www.embodytantra.com and receive your free audio report Better Sex, Richer Life through Tantra.

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Hidden Behind Your Conditioned Behavior is the Best Orgasm You Have Ever Had

July 28, 2009 at 2:38 am · Filed under Personal Stories, Self-discovery, tantric life, tantric sex, women's sexuality and tagged: , , , , , , , ,

So much of how we are showing up sexually has been implanted by ideas from our friends, magazines, society.  So little of it is coming from within.  In fact, most of us have no idea how we would behave sexually if we had not been guided by these external forces.  Everything from the idea of what an orgasm should look like, to how often we should have them, to what our lover should do to give them to us, to how big or hard their penis should be or what is the best shape for her breasts.

What I have found is that actually what I have truly been craving sexually, what some small part of me deep inside has been calling for, was actually almost completely different than what I thought I wanted and how I was operating sexually.

For example, I used to be very attached to my explosive clitoral orgasm and I would often get into patterns with the men I was with where I would basically demand that they go down on me and bring me to an orgasm before I took them inside of me.  It was always ‘my turn first’ as it were, and I considered myself to be lucky to have partners who were willing to ‘make sure that I was satisfied’…

As I began to become more in tune with the messages in my body, that began to feel less authentic and I found myself opening up in different ways… I even noticed when I did follow that old pattern, I would become wet, but in some ways my vagina would be tight when I took my lover inside of me, rather than warm and open and receptive.  I noticed that it was when my lover paid attention to my breasts that my vagina would actually become totally receptive so that when I did take him inside of me, I was sensitive to him and I felt like I was inviting him in to a rich landscape.  My vagina would become so sensitive in fact, that I ultimately became orgasmic from the moment he entered my body.

This was a huge shift and it came not only from allowing myself to listen to the messages of my body, but also from giving myself permission to do it differently.  The book Tantric Orgasm for Women played a huge part in me discovering that I was not alone in this and reading it helped me to give myself permission to try things radically differently and say ‘yes’ to the voice inside of me.

Again, it is when we begin to truly connect within that we are able to hear these messages that we have overridden for most of our lives.

Want to use this article? You can as long as you include the following: Charu Morgan has dedicated her life to Tantra. Over the past 10 years she has studied and shared Tantra worldwide. Best-known for her candid Memoirs of a Tantrika blog and her down-to-earth approach, she is committed to educating modern minds on the ancient secrets of Tantra through coaching, events & home-study courses. If you would like to discover how Tantra can Transform your life, register online for the Memoirs of a Tantrika weekly ezine at www.embodytantra.com and receive your free audio report Better Sex, Richer Life through Tantra.

Upcoming Events with Charu

Beginner Tantra for Couples

Sunday August 9th 6pm . Culver City
$100 per couple / $75 when you register before July 26th
click here to register:
http://embodytantra.ecrater.com/product.php?pid=4317052

Evening of Awakening . Puja Ritual
Saturday August 15th 7-11pm
$60 per person / $50 if registered before Aug 1st
click here to learn more & register
http://eveningofawakening.blogspot.com/

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The Secret to Great Sex

July 24, 2009 at 8:19 pm · Filed under Self-discovery, Tantric Meditations, Tantric Tips, men's sexuality, tantric life, tantric sex, women's sexuality and tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , ,

It has become clear to me that no matter what the exact issue that brings a client through my door, everyone is grasping for the secret to having a deeply fulfilling experience in lovemaking.

People often want to believe or are searching out a technique that, once learned will finally satisfy their partner and transform their experience.

…and there are some techniques out there that are interesting and worth exploring, but the big secret is that great sex does not come from learning something you can ‘do’ differently.  It comes from how intimate you are with yourself.

Our culture has little tolerance for dedicating any time or energy to fully experiencing our bodies because we have become so result oriented.  God forbid we step away from our computer and the possibility of accomplishing one more thing, in order to nourish ourselves!

If we do take the time to nourish ourselves, it comes in the form of a spa treatment, a nice meal out, a ball-game, a Yoga class, etc.  And all of these things are WONDERFUL!  But how many of them really turn you on?  I mean how much of your life touches you in your sex?  Seriously, take a moment to think about it.  When you are not engaged in having sex what percentage of your life are you experiencing the wholeness of yourself including your sexuality?

…I thought so.  Way too little.

The worst part is that we have almost no experience of the potential of our bodies, no relationship to our own sexuality (other than a few goal-oriented masturbation sessions), and yet, we expect our partner to be able to satisfy us and take us to new heights… and if they can’t, we whisper about it to our friends and long for our partner to change.

The good news is that getting in touch with your body and your sexuality is EASY.  Yes, it is.  Whew!  All it takes is a curiosity, an investment in those possibilities that you feel within you, but often don’t listen to.

Try this:

Take the time for a walk in the park or on the beach, while you are there, take a moment to pause and be silent.  Allow yourself to notice what you feel through each sense in your body.  What do you smell?  How does the air feel when it touches your skin?  What colors and shapes do you see?  Sounds do you hear?  Allow yourself to truly absorb all of the sensations of the moment and through this begin to discover something new inside yourself and your relationship to all things.

“All around you, in every moment, The world is offering a feast for your senses.  Songs are playing, tasty food is on the table, Fragrances are in the air, Colors fill the eyes with light.

You who long for union, Attend this banquet with loving focus.  The outer and the inner worlds open to each other…”

~Vighyan Bhirav Tantra as translated by Lorin Roche Ph.D. http://lorinroche.com/

It is so simple that it is almost deceptive because we are not accustomed to allowing life to be simple.

And it is from this place of truly feeling ourselves in a new way, and coming into intimate contact with the world within and without that the great secret to lovemaking is revealed: attunement.

Yup.  No special technique, no following steps 1,2,3 and boom!  As you become more intimate with yourself you will naturally become more intimate with the world.  As you become more intimate with the world you will begin to notice how to simply allow yourself to come into an attunement with this moment in your body.  As you attune to the moment, you become more sensitive to, and can easily attune to your partner.  It is from this place that true lovemaking happens.

As you become more and more sensitive, you will even begin to ‘hear’ what your partners body is telling you.  A longing for a caress here, an invitation for a deeper more vigorous movement, a call to slow down, and so on.  You become one of those rare people that you have heard of in the myths that friends have told you about that past lover who just magically knew what to do, how to touch and who drove them wild.

You can only become aware of these responses in your partner, you can only come into this level of attunement when you have an intimate relationship with yourself.

In many ways you will practice this attunement in every moment of your life.  Life becomes your greatest lover, even just the breath moving in and out of the body is recognized as the sweet pleasure that it is, and sharing with another human being is a delicious expression of this loving.

Want to use this article? You can as long as you include the following: Charu Morgan has dedicated her life to Tantra. Over the past 10 years she has studied and shared Tantra worldwide.  Best-known for her candid Memoirs of a Tantrika blog and her down-to-earth approach, she is committed to educating modern minds on the ancient secrets of Tantra through coaching, events & home-study courses.  If you would like to discover how Tantra can Transform your life, register online for the Memoirs of a Tantrika weekly ezine at www.embodytantra.com and receive your free audio report Better Sex, Richer Life through Tantra.

Upcoming Events with Charu

Beginner Tantra for Couples

Sunday August 9th 6pm . Culver City
$100 per couple / $75 when you register before July 26th
click here to register:

Evening of Awakening . Puja Ritual

Saturday August 15th 7-11pm
$60 per person / $50 if registered before Aug 1st
click here to learn more & register
http://eveningofawakening.blogspot.com/

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Everything You Have Ever Heard About Tantra is a Lie.

June 26, 2009 at 5:36 am · Filed under Self-discovery, Tantric Meditations, tantric life, tantric sex and tagged: , , , , , , , ,

In the West, Tantra has sadly come to be known purely as a sexual practice. It conjures up images of orgies and casual encounters in the name of something sacred.

Nothing could be farther from the truth. Tantra is a path of meditation above all things. An offering of tools to support you in becoming more aware, conscious and alive. To bring you home to the present moment. What sets Tantra apart from other meditation paths is that it acknowledges the importance of being alive in a body, being a sexual being. Many modern ’seekers’ find ourselves ‘top-heavy’, focused on opening our heart, third eye and crown chakras in an effort to experience perpetual bliss.

Problem is that this bliss becomes a way to disconnect, a way to escape. It is not grounded in the body and because of that it cannot be integrated. Tantra recognizes that by using the very energy that makes us human, we can ground ourselves in our humanity and experience the divine here on earth. We can begin to integrate and LIVE a life grounded in a spirituality that is deeply rooted in our bodies.

If you feel that you have a deep connection to your spirituality, but in your very human life you are:

  • not experiencing freedom or abundance in your work
  • feeling isolated
  • in a space where you understand mentally what you ’should’ do or feel in any given situation, but notice that your relationships with family and friends are not as enlightened as you would like them to be
  • are touching deep fulfillment and aliveness during yoga class, while reading Eckart Tolle, or during your favorite meditation/prayer practice… but are not feeling that kind of fulfillment, pleasure or joy in your relationships and sex life

…then it’s time to dive in and experience what Tantra can offer you

All of my upcoming events offer a safe environment for you to have an embodied experience of your divine nature and begin to integrate that experience into your interactions with others. We will use breath, movement, sound & partner meditations throughout each event, the foundation of the work is one of deep respect and reverence. You don’t have to work for years to receive the benefit that comes from Tantra, shifts made from this space are directly integrated into how you live your life. You will find that you feel even closer to the teachings and practices that are important to you.

Through the Tantras (techniques) you will begin to let go of the ’shoulds’ and wake up to allowing life to evolve. When you are in connection with your body and in harmony with life, when you recognize the divine on a visceral level with those you interact with, you have moved beyond ‘trying to live in alignment with your highest self’ because you have simply remembered and embodied both your divinity and your humanity.

What a relief.

Would you like to use this article?  You may as long as you include the following information along with the article: Charu Morgan has dedicated her life to Tantra. Over the past 10 years she has studied and shared Tantra worldwide.  Best-known for her candid Memoirs of a Tantrika blog (soon to be published as a book) and her down-to-earth approach, she is committed to educating modern minds on the ancient secrets of Tantra through events, workshops & home-study courses.  If you would like to discover how Tantra can Transform your life, register online for the Memoirs of a Tantrika weekly ezine at www.embodytantra.com and receive your free audio report Better Sex, Richer Life through Tantra.

Upcoming Events with Charu

Beginner Tantra for Couples

July 5th 6-8:30pm . Culver City $100 / $75 if registered before July 1st

register here:

http://www.embodytantra.ecrater.com/product.php?pid=4317052

Tantra Puja Ritual

July 19th . Santa Monica $60 per person / $50 if registered before July 11th

register here:

http://www.embodytantra.ecrater.com/product.php?pid=3521066

And if you just can’t get enough of Tantra (like me) here are some events coming up this weekend, with my beloved teachers and friends hosting…

with Dawn Cartwright

Tantra Experience

Friday night 6.26 . 7:30pm . Santa Monica

www.dawncartwright.com

with Psalm Isadora

full-day Red & White Tantra Event

Saturday 6.27 . 10am- 6pm

www.psalmisadorayoga.com

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Throw Away Your Self-Help Books

May 30, 2009 at 9:48 pm · Filed under Personal Stories, Self-discovery, Tantric Meditations, love, tantric life and tagged: , , , , , , , , , , ,

Lately, I have noticed that I have been rather negative.  Thinking negative, sludgy thoughts, speaking of the things that are not going the way I would like in a negative way, and in many ways hanging out and bathing in this well of negativity.

It occurred to me that I have probably been creating a negative cloud around me and I should refer back to tools such as; the power of ‘thinking positive’.  Problem is, that whenever I consider tools around ‘positive thinking’ or ‘gratitude’ it makes me want to vomit.  Seriously, something just does not feel right about it.  Something is off.

When I have an internal ‘yes’ for something there is no stopping me.  I can feel it in my body, in my teeth, how right it is and the universe moves in order to support me in that yes.

I often feel this ‘yes’ when I meet a teacher who I resonate with, a person I want to spend more time with, a work partner… and, of course, I feel this yes for Tantra.

Yesterday, within my sludge of negativity, I had a fantastic day of delicious meditation.  I began in the afternoon with my meditation on the goddess Tripura Bhairavi, which I learned from a recent workshop with Parvathi and have taken on as a 40 day practice to embody the qualities of this goddess in my life… I then gave a private session where my client and I delved into Bio-energetic techniques to build the charge of life force and arousal in our bodies before allowing it to flow through us… and finally, I attended Dawn Cartwright’s Friday Tantra Experience class where we awakened to the Sutra ‘Unminding Mind, Be in the Middle, until…’

By the time I arrived at class I was already buzzing.  Within the first five minutes I felt something crack open inside of me and I was alive with absolute love and gratitude… I did not think this, it was an actual physical sensation.  I felt my absolute devotion to Tantra on a cellular level and my love for Dawn, for my beloved, for all my friends… and even for the strangers who shared in this evening with me. Ahhhh.

…And suddenly I knew why I feel sick when I think about positive thinking or gratitude lists…

What I am longing for, what I know to be real and true in my body, is so far beyond my negative thoughts, so far beyond changing my behavior or thinking in any way, what I am longing for isn’t even on the same planet as these concepts.  What I am longing for is simple, it is effortless, it is absolute reality and it awakens through my body.  Once I touch it, everything is transformed.  Negative thoughts are not a ‘problem’ because the story has dissolved.  I don’t need to ‘think positive’ or ‘be grateful’ because I am fully embodied.  The wholeness that I experience is in itself a radiant love and gratitude, and I don’t need to name it.

This is what I am holding for.  This is what I surrender everything to.  This is what Tantra has given me.

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This Tantra Stuff Really Works…

March 31, 2009 at 3:15 am · Filed under Personal Stories, Self-discovery, love, relationship, tantric life and tagged: , , , , , , , , ,

As a woman who has been in relationship for almost four years now, I am consistently amazed at how being in Tantric ritual can completely transform me and bring me back to a place where I am available for love.

I am now at a phase in my relationship where I am constantly coming into contact with parts of myself which are afraid of being so close to someone and in that space it is often difficult to feel that flow of love that came so easily in the beginning. At the ritual last night I noticed parts of myself which have been locked down, while I am busy creating my dream life and building my career, suddenly come to the surface again.

I opened my eyes to see my love before me and I could taste him with my eyes, my hands began to feel intuitive inspirations…I could hear his body telling me how he longed to be touched… I could feel him touching me as though his hands moved beyond my skin and inside of me, my resistance to life melting away. I felt as though my body and his body were glowing, I needed nothing.

In the middle of the night we found each other and made love with a reverence and newness.

He reluctantly left my side this morning, saying how he hated leaving me and how he wanted nothing more than to spend the day by my side. I could feel the magnetic pull between us. Yum.

This Tantra stuff really works…

Come check it out tomorrow night at the Tantra Life! class. This will most likely be the last weekly drop-in class that I offer for a while, maybe ever.

Hope to see you there!

in love,

Charu

Tantra Life!

Tuesdays . 7:30-9pm

$30 per person Culver City . email us for address

Tantra is a powerful path of meditation which focuses on bringing awareness and presence to the body Learning to integrate Tantra and live a Tantra Life is a process of surrender. That process is facilitated by the meditations. Practicing them on your own is a part of it, and gathering together to immerse ourselves in the essence of who we are is a sure-fire way to accelerate the process….not to mention how fun and delicious it feels.

This weekly class is my offering to you, a chance to spend at least an hour and a half a week immersed in Tantra. I invite you to leave your mind at the door and allow this to be your vacation from your life as you know it. A place where you can allow yourself to be surprised by the possibilities and experience yourself fully.

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Some Benefits of Puja Ritual…

March 25, 2009 at 10:15 pm · Filed under Personal Stories, Self-discovery, love, relationship, self-love, tantric life and tagged: , , , , , , , , , ,

At my Valentines Puja, I had an incredible experience.  I looked across from me at my beloved and I saw him.  I saw his love, his devotion, his innocence, his longing…and for the first time in a long time, I dropped my fears and self-imposed isolation and met him.

My love and I have a wonderful relationship.  And in my humanness, as I have gotten closer and closer to him I seem to have touched another protective layer inside of me.  A programming telling me that it is dangerous to be so close to someone.  A defense mechanism which may have once kept me safe, but now keeps me at an arms length from life.

In that simple moment, during the Puja ritual, I was gifted with a sensation of all the walls coming down. I saw and felt what is possible between lovers.  A feeling we sometimes allow ourselves to taste when we are first falling in love, but quickly squelch as we begin to grasp for security over the ripe, ever-changing truths of life.

The tantric meditations open a door, a door to what is possible beyond the ’safe’ structures you have created to live comfortably within.  It offers a world filled with intimacy, aliveness, and possibilities.

Whether you are longing to re-connect with your beloved in a new way, or you are eager to discover the riches of life as you become more and more present to yourself…I invite you to join me at this weekend’s Puja ritual to support you on your journey.
Whether you are longing to re-connect with your beloved in a new way, or you March Tantra Puja
Sunday March 29th 6-10pm (singles and couples welcome)
Early Bird EXTENDED until THURS! $50 if registered by midnight on 3.26.09/ thereafter $60 per person
click here to register
http://embodytantra.ecrater.com/product.php?pid=3521066

What is a Tantra Puja?

A Puja is a prayer. In Tantra, our prayer is recognizing the divine in every human being, our temple is the body. In a Puja ritual each man will have the opportunity to partner with each woman for a simple exercise or meditation. The Tantric meditations use breath, movement, sound, and guided meditation to enrich each meeting throughout the ceremony. Attending Couples may choose to work solely with each other.

*there is no nudity or sexual contact in the classager to discover the riches of life as you become more and more present to yourself…Embody Tantra has an offering for you this March.

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Results from a weekly Tantra practice..

March 17, 2009 at 1:37 am · Filed under Personal Stories, Self-discovery, love, relationship, tantric life, tantric sex and tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Friends,

On Friday I had the pleasure of attending a Tantra class with my beloved friend and teacher Dawn Cartwright.  I felt a tremendous opening in my body (as I always do after a Tantra class) and the most remarkable things shifted in my life…

I went home with a warm feeling in my body and an availability for closeness and love that felt new.  I felt alive even as I slept and when I awoke, something amazing happened…

In the beginning of my relationship, almost every Saturday, my beloved and I would begin the morning melting into one another, cuddling and making love…it would set the stage for a delicious day of enjoying one another.  Recently, the ebb and flow of life and busyness has prompted my beloved to choose to jump out of bed on a Saturday morning (long before I am ready to rouse) and begin his day.

Even when he has had every intention of joining me back in bed when I was ready to wake up, it would still jar me and I would feel upset as I awoke to an empty bed.

This Saturday, after a delicious cuddly and connecting sleep, I woke up to him loving me…the urgency to jump out of bed to ‘get stuff done’ seemed to have disappeared for him.

Here is the thing, my beloved did not change… I changed.

I brought a part of myself home with me that had recently been buried by my own fears, insecurities, and behaviors.  I had been getting into bed with only a part of myself and a strict list of expectations for how he ’should’ behave in the mornings.  But on this Friday, I brought home a sweet, soft, gentle, loving woman…ready to receive my man’s love.

And without me saying a word, he got it.  He felt some part of me inviting him to be close to me that he could not ignore…it shifted everything about the way we related that morning and we did not even need to verbally communicate about it.

In fact, in the past when I would try to talk to him about how I felt when he would jump out of bed, it would usually be coming from a place of anger and blame from my side and it was never well received…which created more distance when what I thought I was longing for was closeness.

It was the simple opportunity to take 2 hours and immerse myself in meditation, immerse myself in the wisdom of Tantra, to discover what was true in my body, beyond words, beyond stories, beyond decisions about who I am or want to be…which created a place where our love could unfold.

This is what is so exceptional about a weekly Tantra practice.  This and so much more…

I hope you will join me as we begin another ‘Tantra Life’ series tomorrow night.

in love,
Charu

Tantra Life!
VENUE CHANGE . please email us for new address if you plan on attending!
FIRST Tuesday Class TOMORROW! March 17th
7:30-9pm / $30 per person

Tantra is a powerful path of meditation which focuses on bringing awareness and presence to the body

Learning to integrate Tantra and live a Tantra Life is a process of surrender. That process is facilitated by the meditations. Practicing them on your own is a part of it, and gathering together to immerse ourselves in the essence of who we are is a sure-fire way to accelerate the process….not to mention how fun and delicious it feels.

This weekly class is my offering to you, a chance to spend at least an hour and a half each week immersed in Tantra. I invite you to leave your mind at the door and allow this to be your vacation from your life as you know it. A place where you can allow yourself to be surprised by the possibilities and experience yourself fully as we explore one of the 112 Tantric meditations.

*all classes are fully clothed with no sexual contact


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Beware of Chasing Orgasms…

November 13, 2008 at 10:37 pm · Filed under Personal Stories, Self-discovery, tantric life and tagged: , ,

Last Friday I attended Dawn Cartwright’s Friday night Tantra Experience class.  It was delicious and wonderful and yet, within all of my experiences of the evening was an underlying feeling…

As I came more and more into experiencing myself in my body, I felt the pain and the horror of being alive.

This is not the first time I have felt this.

It has showed itself to me many times in the course of my self-exploration.

In a recent Yoga class (I love discovering my body through yoga…there is really nowhere to hide) I was happily experiencing an orgasmic state while doing repetitive squats with a partner.   My teacher came over to me and pressed her hand firmly into my body just below my belly button, “move from here, Charu” she commanded.  As she pressed her hands into me I immediately was brought back into my body.

It was a rude awakening.  I let out a earth-shattering scream as I felt in an instant the agony I had been avoiding in my body by floating off into an ‘out of body orgasmic experience’.  I was then encouraged to continue to squats while staying in my body and feeling everything, rather than using my usual escape route…fuck!  No wonder I have spent my life floating out of my body and chasing extreme spiritual states…sometimes the reality of being alive is almost unbearable.

And yet, it is so right, so true, so real, so whole.  Ultimately, although it was my desire for more out-of-body delight that brought me to a ’spiritual’ practice, it is my deepest longing to truly live as a human being in this life.  To feel all of what is available in this skin, the pleasure and the pain.

After my Friday night reminder of why I avoid being a human, I had a Saturday that was thick with self-hate, shame, indulgence, inadequacy, etc, etc, etc.  Much of this had a familiar ring…like I had taken on traits that were common within my family.

In a casual conversation, peppered with comedy to skim the surface of the cutting pain I was feeling, I joked, “maybe all of this time I have truly been a depressed person, keeping myself from experiencing that by living ‘out of my body’ and eating loads of sugar…”.

In the moment, I laughed.  Yet, my joke felt sadly true. I have been living at a safe distance from anything real.

Days of depression followed and I have been eager to find fault with anything and anyone around me in order to avoid feeling…or maybe to provoke the feelings so longing to be felt that I have ignored while I danced in my ‘orgasmic’ state slightly out of body.

I know there is more.  I know that my freedom will come from allowing myself to be human, allowing myself to feel and embrace whatever is alive for me in every moment.  Luckily, I have Tantra and I have created a life where I am surrounded by beloved friends who love me enough to infuriate me by calling me on the indulgences that keep me from the simple truth.

I know that I share Tantra because it is what I most long to learn.  To truly be embodied in this life, to allow life to touch me in every way.  To say ‘yes’ to what is.

…and so the journey continues.

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