Memoirs of a Tantrika

The Official Blog for Charu, founder of Embody Tantra

Archive for relationship

Sensual Bathing Ritual… A Different Way to Prepare for an Intimate Evening

October 13, 2009 at 7:48 pm · Filed under Tantric Meditations, Tantric Tips, love, relationship, tantric life, tantric sex and tagged: , , , , , , , ,

It’s that time again, THIS SUNDAY 10.18.09 is the next Easiest & Best Date-Night Ever! Sign up NOW because the Early Bird ends TONIGHT!  click here to register.  See below for more information.

 

I hope to see you there and I wanted to share with you a very special, sensual ritual that will prepare you for a very intimate night together… I recommend doing this as a preparation for the event if you can make it, but even on it’s own it is pretty exceptional.

 

Sensual Bathing Ritual

 (once you have tried this ritual, I would LOVE to hear about your experience! Post it on my facebook fan page by clicking here)

What I love about this ritual is that it is so easy to do and so sweet and rewarding.  No matter how much stress you have been under or how challenged you have felt in your relationship you will find yourself feeling tender and open to your love after this.

In India, this ritual is performed before any sacred ceremony.  It is seen as a cleansing process so that you enter into the ceremony new and available to be present.  For our modern lives, this can be a valuable tool to cleanse ourselves from the day so that we can be fully present to our partnership.

 

What you will need:

  1. epsom salts (so easy, you can buy them for a couple of bucks at your local drugstore) *ritual can be done without this
  2. essential oils (I like lavendar or some kind of citrus…) *ritual can be done without this
  3. if you can’t find either of the above, you can do this with simply your favorite liquid soap as bubble bath to add that sensual atmosphere
  4. a tupperware pitcher OR any shape container (unbreakable)
  5. a soft sponge OR washcloth 
  6. liquid soap  
  7. candles
  8. sensual music (check out www.myspace.com/aykannasound)

*you can add additional creative elements if you are inspired… rose petals and incense are always nice ;)

Now, the fun part.  There are a couple of different ways to do this:

1. one partner can get in the tub to receive and the other can sit outside the tub to give (with no exchange, just as a gift of love)

OR

2. both partners can squeeze into the tub together

Getting Started:

I recommend beginning by synchronizing the breath.

If you are both in the tub together, have the woman sit in front of the man, her back to his chest.  He can wrap his hands around her waist and rest them on her belly.

If one partner is outside the tub, he/she can place their hands on either side of the receiving partner’s heart.

Then begin to inhale together feeling the belly filling up like a balloon and exhale together.  Continue this practice for 2-5 minutes.  This will bring your bodies into harmony and you will become even more sensitive to one another’s touch.

Moving on…

Now the giving partner will lather up the receiver.  Once the receiver’s body is soapy and slippery, use this to glide your hands over their skin, and massage in any way that feels good to you.

Gently guide the receiver to move so that you can soap up their entire body.

Once you have lathered and massaged them lovingly, take your Tupperware pitcher and use it to pour warm water over the receiver’s body, rinsing and cleansing them.  You can do this several times because the feel of the warm water pouring over their body will be a real highlight of the experience.

Now that they are rinsed off, you will either switch partners OR have the receiving partner stand and bring them a warm towel.  Wrap the towel around them and pat them dry. 

As the receiver, allow yourself to relax completely and enjoy being pampered!

Ready for love…

Now it’s time to leisurely dress and prepare to attend The Easiest & Best Date-Night with Charu to continue your evening of deepening and exploration. ;)

If you can’t make it to the event, this is a great moment to spend some more quality time together massaging one another, making love, enjoying each other in any way that feels good for you.

Enjoy!

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…here is what some other couples have shared:

 

“Finding tantra was like finding a long lost friend, it felt very natural and normal for my boyfriend and I to be with one another in a more sensitive, present, meditative, energetic, and exploratory way but no one had given us permission before. It was in us! But we needed someone to show us the way.

 

We had a huge break through after just one meeting. Not just huge – gigantic!

Our relationship changed forever after just one session. The work touched us so deeply, so quickly, so powerfully, we could not believe it.”

~Brooke

 

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The Easiest & BEST Date-Night Ever!
Learn How Tantric Meditation Can Enhance Your Love-Life…

Oct 18th . 6-8pm . Culver City

$100 per couple . $75 if you register by MIDNIGHT TONIGHT

click here to register

*every class is DIFFERENT!  come EVERY month!*

 

Honor your partnership by spending a special evening connecting and sharing your deep gratitude and love for one another.   Not only will The Easiest & BEST Date Night be more adventurous than your typical dinner and a movie…it also has the power to change the dynamic of your relationship, giving you all of the tools you need to begin to approach lovemaking and all aspects of your relating in a new and ‘tantric’ way.

 

In a long-term relationship it can be difficult to make sure that you are consistently nourishing your love, connection and sex-life…this special evening offers a different Tantric meditation experience each month so you can effortlessly add a new dimension to your relating on a monthly basis.

By attending, you are taking an important step towards transforming your sex life, and perhaps even more importantly, you are taking a step towards an intimacy that few couples allow themselves to experience. This intimacy shifts the texture of everything you do in life and allows you to experience what you have truly been longing for in partnership.

This class is literally a step-by-step guide to support you in learning how to:

  • free blocks in your own body that are hindering your capacity for pleasure
  • deeply and intimately connect with your partner in totally ‘out of the box’ (no pun intended) ways
  • learn a simple ritual that will connect you and your partner on a completely new level….one that can immediately be put into practice when you make love

*there is NO nudity or sexual contact in the class*

 

Looking forward to seeing you there!

 

The BEST Date- Night / Intro to Tantra for Couples
October 18th 6-8pm . Santa Monica
$100 per couple / $75 if registered before MIDNIGHT TONIGT
to register: http://www.embodytantra.ecrater.com/product.php?pid=4317052

*I am working on recording these so the audio will be accessible to people who are not in the LA area!

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Stillness in Lovemaking (and a secret lasting longer in bed)

July 23, 2009 at 2:53 am · Filed under Personal Stories, Tantric Tips, men's sexuality, relationship, tantric life, tantric sex and tagged: , , , , , , , ,

I have said it before, and I will say it again… the bodies have a language of their own.  Most of us have stopped listening when our bodies talk and because of that we have suffered.  We have suffered because we have isolated ourselves, not only from each other, but most importantly from ourselves.

The other day my man and I were making love and he paused, as he often does, and rested inside of me.  With him resting inside my body I began to receive information from his body into mine.  An entire symphony of information.  It felt like a blooming, it began from his penis and then spread out through my body… reaching to the top of my scull and the tips of my toes, pressing against the inside of my skin to the outer edges of me.

He began to move again and it was as though the information withdrew or pulled back as he pulled back to thrust into me.  It was startling and unsettling.  As he continued to move gently in and out of me I noticed that I was consistently experiencing this unsettled sensation of trying to receive the information, but not being able to ‘pin it down’ or absorb it.  Fascinating.

Now, I there are other times when he is moving and I can fully receive what his body is sharing with me, and other languages where I can feel the building of fullness with the intense movement… moments where the way that he is penetrating me feels almost blinding and that feeling of losing control is profound in its own way…

And yet, this experience, which I have often had, of longing for him to stay still so I could drink in this deep knowledge of my man, inspired me to share with the world how important these moments of pause can be.

Many of us are caught in a habitual loop of feeling that we always have to ‘do’ something in lovemaking.  That there is some great technique that will wow our lover and make them love and approve of us or satisfy them beyond belief.  And sometimes within that we are missing the simple magic.  We are railroading over the very connection that we so long for, the connection that nourishes and enlivens.  The connection where two human beings actually enter into a union and open to one another.  Perhaps open and share in a way that is not possible with words or in daily interactions (as we know them).

So, I would like to invite you all to explore the stillness.  Allow it to teach you about what is possible between two bodies as it re-sensitizes you to the moment.

Men ~ it is important to understand that I have just exposed a valuable secret to lasting longer in bed… when/if you feel you are moving toward ejaculation and you would like to postpone it… don’t leave your woman by thinking of baseball or whatever techniques you have created to repress the energy.  Simply allow your body to relax, be still.  Yes, your erection may shift and change while you are still, you may not be as hard as when you are thrusting… this is okay.

Take this time to look your woman in the eyes, caress her body and allow yourself and her to simply relish in the connection between the two bodies.  When and if it feels right to move again you can, as the bond between you has ripened you may notice a new richness as you move inside of her.  You may even notice that your penis is more sensitive to what her body is truly longing for.  Within lovemaking you can pause as many times as you like and you may even choose to experiment with completing your lovemaking this way, simply allowing the charge you have built from moving the bodies to nourish you rather than ending with a big explosion.

There is no ‘right’ way to make love.  Explosions are wonderful, fucking is wonderful… and now you can begin to explore this concept of stillness and see what the process reveals to you about lovemaking and the possibilities.

Want to use this article? You can as long as you include the following: Charu Morgan has dedicated her life to Tantra. Over the past 10 years she has studied and shared Tantra worldwide.  Best-known for her candid Memoirs of a Tantrika blog and her down-to-earth approach, she is committed to educating modern minds on the ancient secrets of Tantra through events, workshops & home-study courses.  If you would like to discover how Tantra can Transform your life, register online for the Memoirs of a Tantrika weekly ezine at www.embodytantra.com and receive your free audio report Better Sex, Richer Life through Tantra.

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In Tantric Relationship, The Honeymoon Never Ends…

July 2, 2009 at 10:24 pm · Filed under Personal Stories, love, relationship, tantric life and tagged: , , , , , , , , ,

Some of you may know that today I celebrate four years with my incredible man!  It is so amazing to share with a man so dynamically and fully.  Of course, I credit Tantra for giving me the tools and the context for showing up and allowing the relationship to undo me, rather than make me smaller or box me in.

I think there are a few major mistakes that we all make when it comes to relationship:

One thing is that we think relationship is there to make us happy… of course relationships can awaken us to joy and happiness, but anyone who has been in one knows that is not all there is to it.

In Tantra, it is thought that a Tantric relationship is one which specifically provokes old family dynamics and habitual responses. Within a conscious, Tantric relationship we are given the opportunity to meet those ‘trigger points’ head-on, learn how to stay present within them, and open to a new, perhaps unfamiliar way of showing up.

A way that is beyond ‘trading needs’ and that takes us into uncharted territory where I don’t count on my partner to ‘complete me’ as we see in so many movies, I go deeper with my partner by honoring myself, knowing myself and loving beyond my fear of losing.

This requires great courage and when you show up for relationship in this way, it can be the greatest teacher, perhaps the only teacher you will ever need.

I am not the woman I was four years ago.  Throughout this relationship I have become aware of some very limiting patterns that I have been ruled by for most of my life…because of my strong Tantric practice both before and during my relationship, I have broken through many layers that have kept true, authentic love at bay.  I am consistently surprised by what is possible between two people and by the true beauty of man.

When relating is dynamic in this way, and nourished in a foundation of a deep honor and respect for yourself AND your partner, the honeymoon never ends.  Every moment is a delicious surprise, you are consistently challenged and invited into new landscape.  Passion, desire and absolute love live here.

Want to use this article?  You can as long as you include the following: Charu Morgan has dedicated her life to Tantra. Over the past 10 years she has studied and shared Tantra worldwide.  Best-known for her candid Memoirs of a Tantrika blog and her down-to-earth approach, she is committed to educating modern minds on the ancient secrets of Tantra through events, workshops & home-study courses.  If you would like to discover how Tantra can Transform your life, register online for the Memoirs of a Tantrika weekly ezine at www.embodytantra.com and receive your free audio report Better Sex, Richer Life through Tantra.

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Father’s Day…the perfect gift.

June 16, 2009 at 10:30 pm · Filed under love, relationship and tagged: , , , , ,

Father’s Day is just around the corner!  For so many men, being a Father has played an essential role in discovering who they are as a man.  There are few things more beautiful than seeing a man come to life as he is engaged with his children.  This provokes in me a genuine desire to honor the man who is showing up for his children, loving wholeheartedly, and rediscovering himself throughout the journey.

It can be very hard to find the perfect gift that truly reflects your gratitude… one that goes beyond the beautiful handmade cards the kids put together, one that is about the connection between you and your man… the man who shares this journey of parenting with you.  The man who you may not always make the time to honor or nourish because of the responsibilities you have taken on as parents.

I have created the perfect gift which will not only honor your man, but it will rekindle the passion and desire within your relationship.  For more information on how you can gift your man this Father’s Day with a special evening that he will never forget, check out www.ultimatemangift.com.

On the site you will find a very detailed video testimonial of one couple who I created this Ultimate Man Gift for, and just to give you an idea of the response you can expect, here are a few notes from men  immediately after their Ultimate Gift evening:
“OMFG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Unbelievable! Amazing. Thank you!”

“It was INCREDIBLE the love of my life gave me an AMAZING mindblowing gift with the help of Charu”

“The evening was beyond “bliss”. Mindblowing, Unforgettable. Something I’ll remember and cherish for the rest of my life. Thank you.”

I am truly inspired by the great Fathers of the world and I look forward to letting them know just how special they are by supporting you in gifting your man what he is deeply longing for… acknowledgment, love and passion.
in love,

Charu
323.363.3135
www.EmbodyTantra.com

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Ultimate Foreplay…

May 22, 2009 at 3:20 am · Filed under Personal Stories, love, relationship, tantric life, tantric sex and tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

My beloved returned from an all-night sweat lodge on Sunday, warm and open.  He was so gentle, so melted and so alive that it was nearly impossible to hold back around him, although some part of me seemed determined to try.  I found myself running into a dangerous mindfuck which creates distance between me and man.

…and he just kept glowing and loving.  In his radiance I felt my resistance melting away and I was transported to a magical land… the present.  Here I was gifted with a love that I am never sure if I am deserving of, here I find myself constantly in dynamic new territory beyond knowing how to ‘be’, here it is demanded of me that I show up only in love and here I experience what I know to be the simple pleasure of being alive; but for most it is a pleasure beyond what they dare to dream.

And this proves a point I often find myself called on to share, only one of you has to change.  Yes, only one of you, and I recommend that you begin with you.  In this case, I lucked out, my beloved made a shift within himself and it was so fundamental, so profound that I could not help, but meet him in the moment.

I find the same thing happens when I am the one who has shifted.  Always.

It’s in the realm of like attracts like.  A profound opening inside of you will call that forth in the heart of your beloved, or vice versa.

When my heart opens, my body opens.  I think this is something that is often overlooked or misunderstood by men.  When my man is showing up for himself, when he is growing in his own way and when that power he finds within himself overflows and he showers me with his love, even when we are not in bed… it is so fucking hot.  Few things call to the heart of woman (or at least this woman) than a man in his power loving, loving, and loving her.  Loving her when she wakes, loving her when she sleeps, loving her when she dances, loving her when she cries… I would consider all of this essential foreplay.  Each moment feeling his love massages me and creates a sweet opening to take him inside of me.

Once inside, I can begin to unfold even further as I challenge myself to trust.  It is a challenge because I, like many women, have been raised to believe that I should never surrender to man, never let my guard down.  And yet, in honoring that way of thinking I have denied myself the true union which I long for more than anything else.

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The Secret to Your Enlightenment Lies Between Your Legs…

April 17, 2009 at 4:06 am · Filed under Personal Stories, Tantric Meditations, love, relationship, tantric life, tantric sex and tagged: , , , , , , , , , ,

Dear Friends,

In just an hour and a half you can begin to transform your relationship to lovemaking and in so doing change everything in your life.

Lovemaking is how we came into the world…the energy generated by sex is so powerful because it is the energy of creation, the energy of life. Let’s face it; most of us are not integrated in our sexuality. In my opinion, you can be as ‘enlightened’ as you like, but if you look at your relationships and your sexuality and there is stickiness there…chances are, you still have a long way to go in your spiritual development.

That is why Tantra speaks to me. It does not let me get away with anything. When I am in my head trying to figure something out, it reminds me to tune-in between my legs, connect with my body and in doing so touch the heart of the moment.

My body never lies…when I am present I can feel my heart open and my sex immediately unlock, making me feel more permeable not only to my lover, but to everything I come into contact with. When I am not present, even if I appear to be experiencing pleasure, my body locks down…revealing where I may still be holding back.

You can try this as a meditation in your life:

Check in with your body periodically throughout the day and notice if you are holding tension in your body, specifically your genitals and see what happens when you allow yourself to relax…you may find that some discomfort you have been trying to keep at bay suddenly bubbles to the surface.

This is a good thing.

It can bring you into awareness, allow you to release what you have been tightening around, and open the doorway to discovering what life and lovemaking can be like when you let down your walls of protection. This will take you a step closer to an intimate relationship with life and loved ones.

Tonight’s Tantra Life! Class (see details below) will explore this relationship between sexual arousal, tension, relaxation and absolute presence.

For those of you who are not in LA or can’t make it to tonight’s class…don’t worry, this meditation will soon be made available as an MP3 or CD for you to listen to in the comfort of your home and practice with your beloved.

In love,

Charu

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This Tantra Stuff Really Works…

March 31, 2009 at 3:15 am · Filed under Personal Stories, Self-discovery, love, relationship, tantric life and tagged: , , , , , , , , ,

As a woman who has been in relationship for almost four years now, I am consistently amazed at how being in Tantric ritual can completely transform me and bring me back to a place where I am available for love.

I am now at a phase in my relationship where I am constantly coming into contact with parts of myself which are afraid of being so close to someone and in that space it is often difficult to feel that flow of love that came so easily in the beginning. At the ritual last night I noticed parts of myself which have been locked down, while I am busy creating my dream life and building my career, suddenly come to the surface again.

I opened my eyes to see my love before me and I could taste him with my eyes, my hands began to feel intuitive inspirations…I could hear his body telling me how he longed to be touched… I could feel him touching me as though his hands moved beyond my skin and inside of me, my resistance to life melting away. I felt as though my body and his body were glowing, I needed nothing.

In the middle of the night we found each other and made love with a reverence and newness.

He reluctantly left my side this morning, saying how he hated leaving me and how he wanted nothing more than to spend the day by my side. I could feel the magnetic pull between us. Yum.

This Tantra stuff really works…

Come check it out tomorrow night at the Tantra Life! class. This will most likely be the last weekly drop-in class that I offer for a while, maybe ever.

Hope to see you there!

in love,

Charu

Tantra Life!

Tuesdays . 7:30-9pm

$30 per person Culver City . email us for address

Tantra is a powerful path of meditation which focuses on bringing awareness and presence to the body Learning to integrate Tantra and live a Tantra Life is a process of surrender. That process is facilitated by the meditations. Practicing them on your own is a part of it, and gathering together to immerse ourselves in the essence of who we are is a sure-fire way to accelerate the process….not to mention how fun and delicious it feels.

This weekly class is my offering to you, a chance to spend at least an hour and a half a week immersed in Tantra. I invite you to leave your mind at the door and allow this to be your vacation from your life as you know it. A place where you can allow yourself to be surprised by the possibilities and experience yourself fully.

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Some Benefits of Puja Ritual…

March 25, 2009 at 10:15 pm · Filed under Personal Stories, Self-discovery, love, relationship, self-love, tantric life and tagged: , , , , , , , , , ,

At my Valentines Puja, I had an incredible experience.  I looked across from me at my beloved and I saw him.  I saw his love, his devotion, his innocence, his longing…and for the first time in a long time, I dropped my fears and self-imposed isolation and met him.

My love and I have a wonderful relationship.  And in my humanness, as I have gotten closer and closer to him I seem to have touched another protective layer inside of me.  A programming telling me that it is dangerous to be so close to someone.  A defense mechanism which may have once kept me safe, but now keeps me at an arms length from life.

In that simple moment, during the Puja ritual, I was gifted with a sensation of all the walls coming down. I saw and felt what is possible between lovers.  A feeling we sometimes allow ourselves to taste when we are first falling in love, but quickly squelch as we begin to grasp for security over the ripe, ever-changing truths of life.

The tantric meditations open a door, a door to what is possible beyond the ’safe’ structures you have created to live comfortably within.  It offers a world filled with intimacy, aliveness, and possibilities.

Whether you are longing to re-connect with your beloved in a new way, or you are eager to discover the riches of life as you become more and more present to yourself…I invite you to join me at this weekend’s Puja ritual to support you on your journey.
Whether you are longing to re-connect with your beloved in a new way, or you March Tantra Puja
Sunday March 29th 6-10pm (singles and couples welcome)
Early Bird EXTENDED until THURS! $50 if registered by midnight on 3.26.09/ thereafter $60 per person
click here to register
http://embodytantra.ecrater.com/product.php?pid=3521066

What is a Tantra Puja?

A Puja is a prayer. In Tantra, our prayer is recognizing the divine in every human being, our temple is the body. In a Puja ritual each man will have the opportunity to partner with each woman for a simple exercise or meditation. The Tantric meditations use breath, movement, sound, and guided meditation to enrich each meeting throughout the ceremony. Attending Couples may choose to work solely with each other.

*there is no nudity or sexual contact in the classager to discover the riches of life as you become more and more present to yourself…Embody Tantra has an offering for you this March.

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Results from a weekly Tantra practice..

March 17, 2009 at 1:37 am · Filed under Personal Stories, Self-discovery, love, relationship, tantric life, tantric sex and tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Friends,

On Friday I had the pleasure of attending a Tantra class with my beloved friend and teacher Dawn Cartwright.  I felt a tremendous opening in my body (as I always do after a Tantra class) and the most remarkable things shifted in my life…

I went home with a warm feeling in my body and an availability for closeness and love that felt new.  I felt alive even as I slept and when I awoke, something amazing happened…

In the beginning of my relationship, almost every Saturday, my beloved and I would begin the morning melting into one another, cuddling and making love…it would set the stage for a delicious day of enjoying one another.  Recently, the ebb and flow of life and busyness has prompted my beloved to choose to jump out of bed on a Saturday morning (long before I am ready to rouse) and begin his day.

Even when he has had every intention of joining me back in bed when I was ready to wake up, it would still jar me and I would feel upset as I awoke to an empty bed.

This Saturday, after a delicious cuddly and connecting sleep, I woke up to him loving me…the urgency to jump out of bed to ‘get stuff done’ seemed to have disappeared for him.

Here is the thing, my beloved did not change… I changed.

I brought a part of myself home with me that had recently been buried by my own fears, insecurities, and behaviors.  I had been getting into bed with only a part of myself and a strict list of expectations for how he ’should’ behave in the mornings.  But on this Friday, I brought home a sweet, soft, gentle, loving woman…ready to receive my man’s love.

And without me saying a word, he got it.  He felt some part of me inviting him to be close to me that he could not ignore…it shifted everything about the way we related that morning and we did not even need to verbally communicate about it.

In fact, in the past when I would try to talk to him about how I felt when he would jump out of bed, it would usually be coming from a place of anger and blame from my side and it was never well received…which created more distance when what I thought I was longing for was closeness.

It was the simple opportunity to take 2 hours and immerse myself in meditation, immerse myself in the wisdom of Tantra, to discover what was true in my body, beyond words, beyond stories, beyond decisions about who I am or want to be…which created a place where our love could unfold.

This is what is so exceptional about a weekly Tantra practice.  This and so much more…

I hope you will join me as we begin another ‘Tantra Life’ series tomorrow night.

in love,
Charu

Tantra Life!
VENUE CHANGE . please email us for new address if you plan on attending!
FIRST Tuesday Class TOMORROW! March 17th
7:30-9pm / $30 per person

Tantra is a powerful path of meditation which focuses on bringing awareness and presence to the body

Learning to integrate Tantra and live a Tantra Life is a process of surrender. That process is facilitated by the meditations. Practicing them on your own is a part of it, and gathering together to immerse ourselves in the essence of who we are is a sure-fire way to accelerate the process….not to mention how fun and delicious it feels.

This weekly class is my offering to you, a chance to spend at least an hour and a half each week immersed in Tantra. I invite you to leave your mind at the door and allow this to be your vacation from your life as you know it. A place where you can allow yourself to be surprised by the possibilities and experience yourself fully as we explore one of the 112 Tantric meditations.

*all classes are fully clothed with no sexual contact


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Conflict Resolution Tantra Style…

March 2, 2009 at 10:10 pm · Filed under Personal Stories, Tantric Tips, love, relationship, tantric life

I have been experiencing some rather monstrous PMS this month and  it seems to have unleashed a side of me that is aching for conflict so that I can isolate myself and complain about how lonely I am. ;)

Yesterday, I as soon as I awoke, I had it in for my beloved.  I kept trying to find the side of myself that knows how to bring us closer, but the angry bitch kept running the show.  No matter what he said, it was wrong and even when I would try to show up in a loving way, I had an edge that was silently saying, ‘fuck you’.

I achieved my goal of facilitating an argument that could have debilitated our connection for the entire day.  We both became exhausted by it and we had created a sufficient cloud covering up the parts of ourselves and one another that we love to be around.  Yikes.  Just as I was about to storm out of the room and go through my ‘cooling down’ process of showering for way longer than I need to (secretly hoping that the warm water will wash away the conflict inside of me) and then crawling into bed in my bath robe to cry, I remembered something I had shared with a friend just a few nights before…

This friend was experiencing challenges in her relationship and she did not know how to approach the conflicts in a different way.  Both partners often turned cold and conflicts would end with them turning to stone and going about their day without resolution.  I told her that the most effective thing to do in these moments of conflict is simply to put aside your ’story’ and hug your man.

Yup, just at that moment when you would like nothing more than to escape the presence of your lover, or to kill them with your bare hands, instead put your body next to theirs, wrap your arms around them and breathe.

…and I decided to take my own advice.  Something I used to remember to do much more in the beginning of my relationship.  Somehow, as time as gone by I have been choosing to ‘prove my point’ above choosing to love my partner.  I asked my love if we could hold one another…it was difficult to even get the words out because I was in the thick of wanting to hate him and make him wrong.  As soon as I said it he opened up completely.  He smiled and laughed and took me in his arms, he thanked me for making a different choice, for being brave and creating a space for us to come together.

At first I was relieved to feel some sweetness between us, and then the burning began.  The burning feeling in my body of being close when all I want is to run away and isolate.  More sweetness, more burning…and then a remembering of the love.  Before my eyes, this man who moments ago was my arch enemy began to transform into my beloved again.

I invite you to try this the next time you experience a challenge with your love…after you try it, if you feel moved, come back to the blog and share what your experience of it was.

in love,

Charu

P.S. Discover tantra…

Ladies~ March 15 10am-4pm Women’s Transformation Event

Everyone ~ the next Puja Ritual will be March 29th 6-10pm

charu@embodytantra.com for more information and to register

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